DANCE; dance away my troubles and fear

Friday, June 30, 2006

I actually went to Kerena entertainment and work. I start at 10am till 6pm. Is fun… Although not much people there. I still have time to design some stuff. Is good. After work I went to meet auntie Mew Leng and I went to her church in aliwa with them. Before we go we actually have dinner in blk 65. And we have cell meeting in aliwa. So fun… I am so happy. After cell Auntie Mew Leng family send pat’s and me home. I have a fun time. I am more relax because I had print out the cpf stuff that I need I really hope that Monday I went to hand in there would not be a error.

9:18 PM!Y

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I went to get my singpass done. So I cam back to get my dance gear. I went to work after that. I finish working at 5. I directly went down to Parkway. I went there to serve online. Updates my blog and everything that I need to do. Enjoying serving net. Also try to wait for time to reach. At 7.30pm I went in to chapel. I saw a lot of people is there already. Carol ask me how come I am later then her nowadays. I say oh... I….. Then I did not answer and smiles. So everyone came to me and ask me how am i? I say well. Recovering well. That is good. Everyone was happy for me. I am also happy. Everyone start to do stretch but Cassandra came to me and asks me seat and the sofa and rest. I feel everyone is so nieces. I am so happy. After that I just do thing that is to my limited. And is wonderful to. I like yesterday practice. Thank god for everything.

6:15 AM!Y

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Today I went to work and took off my job about 5 plus and wanted to meet Portia and the rest in Habourfront. I actually reach earlier. I want to meet Portia earlier is to ask her help me on my cpf. We could do anything until my sister called and say I have to go down and get my own Singpass. I was like huh.. So late lei… I am so sad.. Not long my mum actually called up and told me she had gotten her singpass and given to my sister. I told her wait for sister I only can do it in the night I scare that the cpf thing can do it again. My mum scream on the phone and actually had scolded me, I was so sad and cried. Portia did not know what happen and she saw me walk away. When I came back she asks me what happen and I found that she actually had read what I wrote in my book. Where wrote some stuff to god. How I feel. When I pen my diary in the computer she actually see thing that I don’t want to show her. I did not know what to say. She asks me why I cry. I say my mum scolded me. And is not I don’t care about my study. Is the letter was not clear. She doesn’t get it. I am like going crazy. And Portia Actually asks me am I upset when she scolded me. I say YES. She asks me who I think that my dance friend or she more understand me. In the way she also know I cry is not because I can’t bear the pain but is because I am upset of something. She says she knows that. I feel a bit sorry to write that but is what I feel. Is because I don’t know who I should talk to that why I write out what I feel. I hope I did not upset her by writing that. Maybe I should explain to her. Although I know her longer then the other friends in church but because I just feel that way. Maybe I should also say sorry.

6:14 AM!Y

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A day of doing nothing

I spend my day go down to Bukit Merah Electronic shop to change my dvd player. I given auntie Jean a call. I told her that i entered Lasella SIA. She ask me to remember download what ever thing that i need to get into the school and fill it up. So i decided when i come back hme and i should call the school and ask. What do i need to hand it in and whai don't have too. So actually thy told me that i need to hand it in before 4 july and i will get the confirmation is reserve fo me. So i was so worry. I called Portia and alsoasked my sister whether today will i be able go to her home and do everything. So i could bring it down as soon as possible. My sister say she will called me when she reach home then i will go over. Until now is even 9pm i still did not get her call. Hope she won't forget. Me today hae beenut for ahile and also seat on computer doing some design on my own cards. I design two. One is for Auntie Mew Leng birthday card and the other is fo the fun of designing. I am not finsh with Mew Leng card cause i did not know whether to put Happy Birthday or A verse from the bible. Oh, no i just remember that i did not call my office and say i could not go back today. Hei.... How am i suppose to tell them tomorrow. I feel so bad. I should do it since this morning i wakes up. I als feel like checking email but my ouse don't have internet line. I have to save up and pay if i want to have internet. Where can i get that money. I got to pay for handphone bill too. Maybe in the starts was wrong to get my own handphone line. Maybe really put in trust in the lord that he will give way to it. And the other thing is i old auntie susie a big some of money for the computer. I am like with lots of debts. Hei... God i pray that you will find ways out for me. I know only you csn help me. I know god is good all the time. I pray all this in Jesus Name. Amen! Thank you...

I don't understand him any more. He always do thing to hurt me. I am just wonder whether do i still trust in him. I am like giving out hope in him already. He always makes me happy in some ways and discourage me another ways. I HATES HIM........ Example sunday he alot me to do well on first service and after performance he let me fall down and i not able to perform in the next services. I could only see other to perform. And the next want is he allow me to get into Laselle SIA and now doesn't allow me to apply my CPF. Now i even find if i send in late i may not get a place. Portia reach as the same what i thought. Now i only could apply tomorrow. And had to wait the next day to get the reply from the CPF. Is like wasting time lor... Can you juz tell me whether can i get in. Can stop making me worry. I doesn't want to be like same in NAFA. Wait till so long then give me answer was NO. I hates that lor. Who can tell me that can i get in? I do felt Portia only cares for other people. No longer cares for me anymore. Why? On sunday she even say i behave like a kids. She just doesn't know what am i thinking. How can she start judging me what am i thinking. I am like going crazy with people around me. I don't want to stay in this place anymore.

4:21 AM!Y

Monday, June 26, 2006

I actually had injuried my leg on Sunday then today i could not be able to go work. So i actually i had spend my day at home resting. So today i actually sleep like a pig . I feel so bore at home. My DVD player spoil so i could not watch. My mum was saying tomorrow maybe i better stay at home. I will like huh. So bore at home. Today i did not do anything much. I really pray hard that my leg will heal fast then I could go back to work and also join my friends them practise dance on thursday. I did not want to skip one lesson. I am so excited to every thursday prastice. Me have be playing Sim 2 the whole day. I hope i got internet so i also could chakt with my cousin. Or even serve net to get some information where i could design more cards. Maybe tomorrow i go to bukit Merah or library. I think i should go to check out internet line. How much does it cost? Or ask my frenz to check for me. The other thing i am going to study n Lasella SIA but i did not know what to prepare and or do. I am like in mess. Maybe have to long break. I also worry that when school start will also very tiring. I hope i could gone through well. Hope i would not have a hard time studying. Today was basicially boring day at home. Maybe tomorrow i can call any one and see who is free can come and company me. Wa now is even 1.34am. Is actually 27 June. I better go and rest getting late.

4:18 AM!Y

Friday, June 23, 2006

Ya... Today i stay over auntie mew leng house. hee.. That is fun to stay with her family. Today i woke up super late. Had spend a great time with Cynthia shopping for my Dance gear. And also pretty shoes. Is like my first time going out to shop. I am so happy. We are like shopping queen.

10:14 AM!Y

Sunday, June 18, 2006

testing!

9:40 AM!Y