Actually today while everything come together.
I really start to doubt where is He? And how do i know whether he is really real? As my leader always tell me that he will b here for me and do all thing for me. He would not give thing that i could not do. So i am thinking how much i really know him and how much is he real. As for me.. I was in alot of project and thing that should not come now had came. I am so tired. Really wonder how he will able help me. As he is not like someone who i could meet and talk to. *I mean face to face.) So i really wonder is he here helping me.
I felt i'm lose the trust and faith in him that he would do all thing for me. So i decided to nail down and start worship him. I could not able to encounter him well.. I feel so lonely and lose. I start to cry out. Who can share wit me how real our god is and wonderful he is. As i really could not see him in me. I am totally lose. And dare not telling anyone about it. So i actually could only share a bit of it with one my friend.
I does not want to stand on my own strength. Coz i know one day will break down and would not want to go church. And i would be in the darkness.. As i also know that when this happen my life would been more miserable. As i had experince this when 2 years ago where i cry badly and also when i was primary 4. So would not want it to happen again. How do i prevent this?
Decided to read bible and prayed and ask where are you, I need you to be in my life. And do forgive me for doubting. As i don't want to go back to the darkness. Please come and save me.How could i believe that it happen again.. I does not want to stand in my own understanding but to trust you and know you well.. I want to rise up like a shining star. I want to love you in all ways.Please save me.
If anyone who read this. Can share with me and tell me what should do. I do still feel lose in heart and trusting in all thing i do. Please come and help me for my difficuilt time.
Labels: How do i know where is he?
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