Hello... Each day ahead of me i feel more excited. I ever hope everyday is thursday. And i

2007-12-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

Today is the second day that thing has happen in the cell. We had not talk about it. I having problem staying in this cell. I lose of hope for this group. I believe my leader will help me to solve thing out. She is very nice. I am super sorry that i hurt her. I hope thing would be better. Alhough this year i do not know how my christmas will be like. Although i did hope i would able to spend my christmas with the cell. I know that is impossible now. I do not dare to hope. I just hope there is something My leader can do. ALthough i do not hope to jus celebrate with the guys team alone. I do felt so weired. All are so grown up me leh.. I would think i will lose of words to say. I think to make my cell leader happy then i will still go. She is my leader. Day after day i had been crying coz of this problem. Although after knowing the cell does not willing to celebrates christmas together i did wish to be in malaysia celebrating Christmas there. I think the feels will be different. I don't think i can. I do not waste another ticket. And also becoz i had to come back and practise for the performance for the countdown. I do believe aunt wannna give me surprise. I think i would not able to see the surprise. Hei... I really does not hope my leader be upset.

Although i do not sure that she is upset becoz of the group does not wanna come together and celebrates christmas or becoz what she saw my letter then she get upset. I think she felt so discourage becoz of me. I wrote a letter then feel with my thought. Why and how come I does not wanna sit with her. Coz i do not have the likeness with them..

Now every day i think of this problem i start tearings. I do hope my group can get closer. Although i ever thought of leaving the group but i think i would still prefer my leader. Alhough i can does not have the group to be with me. But i do wan my leader.

Today sunday in church service i was touch by the words that pastor Thai Tong say. We need holy spirit to give us a hand so that we would not feel tired. And out road will be easiler. When start praying... I sense that God will hugging me and he told me that everything is in his hand. He will solve very little problem that i have. I just has to trust him in everything.I am not standing alone, he is always beside me. Do not lead on my own understanding. I starting tearing. As now a few thing that brother me. That is i am not sure whether my Godpa's izzit really have cancer. As he need to go and do treatment then he will know is that cancer cell.. I am so worry for my family as i am not sure what is going to happen next. As for past 3 year thing had been happening. I break the curse in the NAME OF JESUS. No DEVIL are aloud in my home and family.

Although one and another problem is here. I had to be strong. Seen like thing start my uncle who mentally ill then grandaunt health getting poor, then my aunt Jean who has cancer follow by my uncle in malaysia who also has cancel then the other uncle from malaysia who has went treatment came back but still not well and now my godfather is the next one who suspect that he has cancer.

Cancer is everywhere. Is so scary... God please help me hold my family. I can't stand alone without you. I am going to give up soon.. Please come to me and help me. I feel so so so so so tired... I need a rest.

Sometime i just wonder izzit time for me to go back to heaven. I need a rest..

2007-11-30T02:01:00.001-08:00

Hi.. So long did not update my blogs. After handing all my project till now i had been really resting and also looking out for a job. Resting for sometime and now i am still having very bad cough. I am tires... Today i actually really did not do much thing but sleeping the whole day. I does not know why that i feel so tired.

Anyway yesterday i receive my feedback for my portfolio i cried badly in dance. Was nice to have all nice sister to come and encourage me. Hee.. They are the best sister that i have, I love you sister. Cass, Linda, Carol and Poh Yen.

So now i will leave everything to God. To uphold everything. I hope thing would change. As Carol sis say that see God had lay this path for you. In his plan he will do everything good for you too. I feel so encourage so i stop crying. Then Cass offer me tibits to cheer myself up.

Dance started not long. We open in prayer then we start practising. I did not do well in the practise so i was not selected to dance for this sunday plateform. Is ok.. Haha.. Is my faulth that i did not practise and cannot remember the step. So i should not be angry. Just do it well for the next one that coming up.

Kelvin's say that she had alreadi selected someone and invited the new dancer to join in to the year end bazz. I was not selected. Although i do hope to be invited to dance. I know that my skill is not that yet. I hope i could but anyone had to practise very hard. He did mention he will open the worship song to us. Anyway.. I do hope to join.

Since been so long in dance. I do not really see me improving. I am not sure how to improve. Although people will telling me to join outside class. I do not able to afford to pay classes. So beside that i onli can learn on every thursday. I do not sure how come i do not understand what is really line work. Though out this year i had been trying to follow the senior in their line work. I try to pose like them but i do not see the different. I could not find my mistake. I also try alot but i do get there.

Sometime i am doubting am i having that gift to dance. I do had the passion but does i had the gift. Sometime i do think they wanna make me happy by telling me that i am alreadi there. I do well but i don't think so. Toward the end of the year. I really should think what is my aim serving in dance minstry. What is the goal and aim. So i could prepare myself for next year.

The assignment is getting nearer. Is alreadi next week. but i am not sure with the step in dance. hey.... Sad... men... I hope to do well. Hoping but not doing anything does not help. How can i remember the dance step. Oh men, I practise the dance i could not get the line work and step right. hey... I got to really jia you..

2007-05-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

My feeling

I am having some sad feeling that inside of me that I don’t know who can I share too. I think everyone got their own problem. So I choose to write in my blog and express myself. It will make me feel better. I did hope to show anyone but to God and myself.
So anyone who has view this can just ignore this.

I actually went back to work in my own company that I work with. 2 disappointment that I hear from my boss. Although I did not expect that from her. Really hope it does not come from her mouth. Someone told me. I should not take it too hard. I should just take it to improve myself. So that I will be more professional. As I take what she say. So decided to improve myself by doing better.

My boss told me that actually she was very disappointed by me. In my work and also my behaviors at work. I really don’t know what is wrong. My boss says that you had to take up the leadership to do my work and also when time to be serious then serious. I will have another intern that is coming in. To take up some of my work. So I had to show a good example to her. I felt that I really had to learn. Then I do accept that. But not long I came back I sense there is some misunderstand between my boss and one of my colleagues. I and not sure what is going on.

This few day I heard from my other thing is that this colleague who assign me to be his assistance so that he would able to take of me in my work. They told me that this colleague mood is up and down, And my lady boss and the other colleague say they don’t want make it as they are siding me and don’t want my senior to put the blame on me. So I had to finish my part on time. I really don’t know what had happening. Why is he changing a lot? I feel so frighten to go work each day. And also did not have the heart to go work. I feel such disappoint in myself. He is no longer the person that I know. And the when he saw my friend portfolio he say about my work I feel so upset. He makes me feel I am lousy.

I do not know how to express myself. I really hope this way will help me express it. And I really does not want to hurt anyone, Sometime it make me feel that whether I should stop working ma.. I really feel so sad that each day I could only break down to cry.

God’s anything that you want me to learn from there ma. I really can’t leave any longer. Maybe expectation that given to me id higher. Why is hard to make someone happy ma… I know expectation will make me a better person. I am wonder when he behind me he is just like a devil and when he is in front of me he is like an angel. How could I solve my problem?

As listen to what my other colleague say I am sure this guy he is going to complaint about ne again… What can I do? Hei.. I really wonder how I am going to present my work to my boss. I really don’t know how much could I finish. Do my best ba.

2007-04-29T23:44:00.000-07:00

Plateform..

Today i got dance.. So had to be in church by 8 am.. hee.. So most people was late. Due to the rain. Was very nice to sleep when is rainy day. haha.. When i reach is only a few of us. Is only team C people will around. As i was so happy and very rush.. So i went in.. And prepare of myself. I take the shorter time to makeup and also also change. haha.. My dearest sister given me a smile. I hope i could given her a hug.

So people start to arrive at about 8.30am... We start warm up. Lead by a guy.. After that we went on stage to get our formation rite. Then i felt everyone was well prepare for the worshipping him. I always felt that our dance group got unity. As one dance mates came and forgotten bring her costume. so we did not like did not care and say then u can't go on stage but a few of us came out with some solution. And helping each other. As we encourage each other... So later we found our own solution. As we decided some of them onli dance for one song then we will able to exchange.

So we manage to change.. So all of us still able to go up on stage. I thank god that my leader did not stop anyone from dancing.. As i trust god that he will the one who given us this solution. As today i really feel that the angel in heaven is clapping with us. As we had a wonderful god.

Although there is a mistaken that happen.. I was in the video and i am not sure why am i looking around. I was just behind pastor Joel... Oh no.. sure look very aweful hei.. So some of dance mates ask me to be more conscious when i am on plateform. Although i make a mistake i still wan to give praises to god. Overall everything was good. As all of us had the energy and need to smiles. hee.. If not sure look ugly..

And the other service we onli able to dance for one song at first. As we had nt enough time to prepare. last mintues pastor sing a song that there is alreadi dance step but nt everything we remember. So we dance freely.. At first pastor say we don dance tt. that onli sing for minstry part. We will like huh.. then later he saw we so excited so he decided to have tt song.. We all jump up with smile... praise god.. So all the dance look goods.. I think the second service are better.. hehehe.... We encounter god more.. I can't wait to see the video men..

2007-04-18T11:17:00.001-07:00

Actually today while everything come together. I really start to doubt where is He? And how do i know whether he is really real? As my leader always tell me that he will b here for me and do all thing for me. He would not give thing that i could not do. So i am thinking how much i really know him and how much is he real. As for me.. I was in alot of project and thing that should not come now had came. I am so tired. Really wonder how he will able help me. As he is not like someone who i could meet and talk to. *I mean face to face.) So i really wonder is he here helping me.

I felt i'm lose the trust and faith in him that he would do all thing for me. So i decided to nail down and start worship him. I could not able to encounter him well.. I feel so lonely and lose. I start to cry out. Who can share wit me how real our god is and wonderful he is. As i really could not see him in me. I am totally lose. And dare not telling anyone about it. So i actually could only share a bit of it with one my friend.

I does not want to stand on my own strength. Coz i know one day will break down and would not want to go church. And i would be in the darkness.. As i also know that when this happen my life would been more miserable. As i had experince this when 2 years ago where i cry badly and also when i was primary 4. So would not want it to happen again. How do i prevent this?
Decided to read bible and prayed and ask where are you, I need you to be in my life. And do forgive me for doubting. As i don't want to go back to the darkness. Please come and save me.How could i believe that it happen again.. I does not want to stand in my own understanding but to trust you and know you well.. I want to rise up like a shining star. I want to love you in all ways.Please save me.

If anyone who read this. Can share with me and tell me what should do. I do still feel lose in heart and trusting in all thing i do. Please come and help me for my difficuilt time.

2007-04-17T00:11:00.000-07:00

I was a bit upset for pass few day.. Alot of nice friends , sisters and ppl from dance came and ask me. There given me some suggestion. And alot of them given me a wakes up reminder. And especially some nice friend. haha.. Don't wanna talk about the pass...

I actually went to print some photo from my dance and i did a special photo of me and some close friend.. I like the photo tt i had printed. Coz is meaningful to me. I like it. I Came back my aunt ask me who is tt? I smile and walk into my room. haha.. She must be guessing who is tt.. hahaha.. I am going to tell her. Before i get myself in deep shit.

As i know time really fly. I onli had 4 more day before my assessment. So i am going to use time wisely.. Got to pen off..

2007-04-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

Today i spend my day at home...

This is my last week before my assessment week. Although i feel very stress.. I am very slow in work.. I think i got to work fast. Coz i left not much time to complete all my work.. I feel like giving up.. I need help.. Who can help me.. Why am i so stress.. I hope my leader would be able to give me idea what to do to help me.. but she is nt... I am like so tires... Life is such miserable when came to final work..

Help help help...

I had a frenz is sec 3 now. He does not care about his studies.. Everyday onli know how to play games... I really hope game will help him pass his exam.. I really wonder how his life next time.. hahaha, Anyway he is the one who is in control of his life. If he still carry on i am sure he will regret when he is even older.. That will be too late lor!!

2007-03-30T23:42:00.000-07:00

Got some misunderstanding...

Is me again.. I am going to share how did i spend my day.. I wake up at 9.30 am . knowing i am late for class.. I feel super tired and feel a bit sick.. So ended fallen back asleep. By the time i wakes up at 1pm.. I was like huh.. Am i going to be late for the next class... So decided to prepare and go out of the house. As my class at 2pm.. Having External Drawing..

Today we are suppose to to talk to my teacher about our group... And in between the decision we had some misunderstanding with the group.. I feel super sad.. I think i will lose my friendship wit some of the people. I did not want that to happen, Now really wonder how is she feeling.. I think she does not want to talk to me. I feel that she will not want to talk to me.. I feel super hurt...

After class i went to get some stuff and i went to meet a special person. In between waiting for him. I receive a call.. friend from GMC ask me whether am i free.. Wanna go to city link with her. I say i am alreadi there.. Waiting for my friend. So decided to ask her to join me.. She does not wan. I decided after dinner then i will go meet her.. Before i finish wit him another friend given me another call.. and say she is going home.

I actually had a good time eating with him. I enjoy eating and hearing some of his stories. He even listen to me and hear how i had been in school.. We share about his work stuff and also what i had fun in school.

He always tell me, treasure the time in school. He think that school life is more interesting. I do think work also has interest times. As for my work place i enjoy alot.

2007-03-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

Very surprise what I did

As i went to school. School was from early in the morning 9am to 7pm. I was very tired. My leader was nice. She say after class company me to watch movie. In the morning break time i decided to give her a call. As i felt what i did for external was wrong. We are suppose to do collage. I felt my does not have a layer. I was suprise when i given her a call and my first words was gamummmy .I was excited. So we went watch movie. After watching movie with her she company me for dinner. While i went home she sms me and say that dear girl did you call me gamummy this morning? Hope to hear it more...

I said.. Haha... Got meh.. Can't remember..
Then she reply So sad...
My next reply was that haha.. Just joking yea... I was suprise to call you that too.
Okie if you like i will truy to call you that more often.. I feel so happy.. Fill with lots of joy..

2007-03-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

Admire on someone..

Recently i feel that i admire on someone in my church. When last time my leader ask me i do think he is funny. Now i don't think so. As he is very funny in time and always got alot jokes to share with the group. As my church friend and classmates think that he is very handsome. As i think ok lah.. I always admire him Dance. I

Anyway i need to pray about it. And wait for god to mould he and me. haha, if he is for me i believe that god will bless me and also blessing him. He will let both of us know. I am also reading the book title I Love. It about courtship.

2007-03-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

Was my godfather birthday..

Hey!! My mum is nagging at me couse of my sister. She went to malaysia did not informing. Mum was angry.. Ended scolding me. After coming back from church i was damn tired. Does not even feel like going to dinner just feel like sleeping.. And i got alot of homework to do. So hope to stay at home. I know that if i mention that to mum she will also scold me. So i tink i should be good and go. haha.. So i went..

Had a great time with my cousin too. I enjoy the time singing Karaoke with sharon and also listen to Michella jie jie sing.. Her voices sounded so sweet. Had a great time chit chatting and also carrying bao bei.. Hui Xin.. She is so cute.

2007-03-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

After G12 Confrence....

Ater church G12 Confrence i learn alot of thing from there. I believe that i had goes closes to the group of people in dance. especially the group that hd take part to in confrence for dance. As i enjoy the time that spending with them. I love it. I think it was. fun. haha.. If you want to see all the dance picture that had taken.

You had to go to the other side. Please view it at : http://danceuponthelord.multiply.com

Although is my first time takng part in G12. I had a great time encounting him in worship And i do not for say that i learn alot from the confrence. As i know god better. It was a great experinces that i could not using a word to say. Basically i was excited before the day that the G12 . It bring me to another level. I am sure everyone went through another great level.

Although i could not able to go for class for friday. This G12 make me wanna share God's great love to all my friend.

I wanna give thank to all the leader. Especially Cass , she taken out her own time and asking a few of us to her work place. Polishing our step. It was a great pressure that she had give me.
i also wanna thank the rest of the leader. Chern Yee , Poh Yen , Sarah and not forgotten my greater sister that i am close with. That is Linda. She is so different for any single of them. She gives me lots of love and care. Even when i had bad thing to share with her. She will by my side listening to me. I give thank to her. I also Love her lot. She has be the one who had bless me greater in my life.

Thank god for all of you..

2007-02-26T19:58:00.000-08:00

News that upset me for a week..

Today i actually receives and email that updating me regarding about my dearest Daniel.I read the email i was shock and start crying.. I feel so sad. I can't imagine when i go back to malaysia from now on i would not able to see my dearest dog " Daniel".

He die course of a diahorrea and also because he has a week stomach. He has gastric. Early in the morning about 5am my aunt thought that he was asleep. As he was dead.. I feel so upest to know how he die. He suffer for so much.. I really miss Daniel.

My day was very down... Till i start telling myself i had to let it go.. If not my life will not had any joy at all.. I really think is a waste. He die...

Daniel posing for the camera

When He is tired

2007-02-25T10:47:00.001-08:00

Early Celebrating Linda's Birthday

Today was sunday. We celebrating my dearly sister birthday. We had a gethering in May house. Quite a big group of us went. As team C and Cassendra and Sarah love her alot. So we plan to have a small celebration. Haha is so cool to organise it. I enjoy do it for my team... I want to be a blessing to people in dance and people who i Love.... As wanna say i love you lot.

Look at our beautiful photo..

Look whole table of food tt May had prepare for us. She wakes up early to prepare it for us.

Linda birthday

Dance minstry.. Pretty lady.

The whole team of C

Cutting the fruity cake

Me and my darling Linda Jiejie

2007-02-23T00:24:00.000-08:00

All of them going back to Malaysia...

Early in the morning my aunt is screaming away. At her two child. Waking them up. And is early in the morning 8.45am. So scary. As i feel super tired. Cause all of us sleep very late last night watching television and also playing Rummy O. We went for breakfast and i give all my aunt a treat. As i never given them a treat before. After breakfast we came home watching television and also playing rummy O. So fun... hee... Later when my dad came back from Tiong Bahru. Dad quarrel wit my mum. And i keep quiet. As i am scare that there will be a fight. Did not wan to go near. At last because of my dad using vugalrity on me. My mum and dad quarrel and fight. Luckily auntie Jean and some other auntie uncle was around. So i run into the room and cry. My cousin ask me not to cry. Auntie Lay Tin was shouting time to go. And there will trying to cool my dad and mum down. So auntie Jean came into my room and ask me not to cry, she told me next time seeing them quarrel then walk away. As she saw me crying so sadly. Her tears also roll down. At last we send auntie and uncle off at railway station.My dad also got a ticket and gone with them to Johor. As my aunt notice that my dad is ill ask me when i sleep remember to lock my door. I just wonder what will happen when my mum and I lock my door in the night. I think he will really going crazy. Came back home after sending them off. About 6.45pm i took bus and MRT to TC. I had dance practise at night.

2007-02-18T17:17:00.000-08:00

There had arrived in the morning about 10am in my place. There will be having dinner in my place. So mum was preparing the food. And i try to help her. As my aunt them reach in the morning. So we had lunch and dinner. My cousin them was here.. Sharon and the family. We took some picture was spoil. So sad. I don't think i had time to updated my blog until mut cousin went back malaysia. So the rest of the day we went watch movie visiting and more. We even joke alot and play alot of english boardgame example Rummy o... So fun...

2007-02-16T16:13:00.000-08:00

New Year was round the corner...

looking forward for some of my aunt and cousin is coming to stay with me. I feel so good. As i like to spend my time with them.. And there are going to spend their new year with me. I am so glad. Auntie Lay Choo my elder auntie and the husband , Auntie Lay Tin , Zeying , Khaung Yee and my nieces Yi Si.. There will be arriving on 30th morning...
Cool men...

2007-01-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

2nd last day of holiday.

As today i went to practise. And it was fun. I mange to learn some dance. As my comments was that i could remember my dance step but i will get lost some of the step. As the most challenging part for is to improve my line work. Maybe it should be my this year goal.

after that we went for lunch.

I went auntie jean house. As there is another round of makan. Sure grow fat.
Just wonder how is mama now, As there is no news from aunt S . Keng. Maybe no news means good new.
My prayer for today is god please come into my family and also heal mama. Amen...

2007-01-05T11:59:00.000-08:00

Last day of work..

As today i am late for work. My boss did not say anything. As i am worry she will scold. Hee.. Wakes up late for work. I collect my namecard yesterday. And this morning i went to work. My boss does not look happy about the namecard. As there is alot of error. Since that i think the whole of my day was gone.

So i keep very quiet doing my work. I had make the changes since the whole day. Oh.. No... I am so scare. Hee.. Then there is some misunderstanding toward the work. And also communication break down.I think my boss was very patient towards me. Although we are not really happy. When i went to the toilet i actually given my leader a call. She is very nice listen to me and explain thing to me. I was upset.

As after work i went to meet my dearest leader that i always respect her alot. We went west coast park Mac Donald for dinner. I think she is very happy to see me. I am happy to see her too. As i miss her alot. I miss her voice and her look. haha.. Although i did not mention but that is from my bottom of my heart. hehehe.. Hope she know this she will be very happy... Although i wish to gives her a hug but i did not. We had a wonderful talk. We talk about alot of thing. And i smile alot. Hee.. I think is the good thing. Is a new beginning of the year. Although i am upst we some thing but i give thank to god for a wonderful beginning

After talking till about 10.30pm. We decided to go home. Ended went to ABC market for supper. hehehe... I am food person. hahaha...

Sometime i really hope i could spend this time with her more often. I think soon i would not had the time spend with her. As thing is going different. Hei.. Don't talk about this.

Just wondering how is mama now? As just now on msn youngboy say mama is more stable. Not sure whether is truth. Maybe tomorrow we should give auntie S. Keng a call. hehehe... I pray that god will be here to help me take care of the family and also be here to strengthen the family. I pray that she will be well again and been as cheerful as last time. God come and take care of her. Take away any pain that is inside of her. I trust all this in the name of the lord. God do take care and bring her with strength to fright with the devil. And her sickness.. Renoun any pain in her will be gone... Pray all this in jesus name. Amen!!!

2007-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Back to dance...

As today i went back to work i feel so sian. As i don't feel good.
Does not know why. Just thought that my life is not
interesting enough. Many too many thing in my mind.

When after work i feel better. I went for dance. I am not
excited. As last time i feel excited to look toward the day.
For today i feel burden and also sad.
As i think i am worry for mama.. As she is still not
well. She is still in CCU. Not to worry my friends in dance. So i act as i am
alright. I am not. As i need the strength from god.

So i remin happy. As toward the end i start feel upset.
When i am on my way home i message jie. Telling her i feel worry and scare. As i think i had to trust in the lord.

As hoping my aunt will call and ask us not to worry.

2007-01-03T23:59:00.000-08:00

Heard a back news..

Was a very sian day. As i am doing website.. Is like after coming back from
malaysia i think everything back to normal. As i had
holiday was so long does not even want to go back to school soon.
I was in malaysia for about 5 to 7 day i feel so cool..

Is time for me to face my studys. I am going back to school next week.
As i wish too.. but i have too.. hahaha.. I think i am
much more lazy.

As today i had to work till late in office.. In this timing i am still in offices..
so sian.. Work work work non stop.

oh today i hard a back news that is regarding my mama condition. I am so frighten
but i had to be strong. As i am the only one where i am close to her ad the family so i am
sure i could be the light of the family. As i heard from my aunt that mama blood inside still got baterica.. So sad..
she has to gone through washing her kidney and her blood again. I am
sure it must be very painful.

I really hope i could help her to gone through some of the pain for her. I really
pray that god will take good care of her. she will recover soon. I
pray that god will be with her and help her through the difficult moment.
I pray that god will take away her pain and bless her with joy. Lord
bring my family with light and also with hope. God please bless
me with strength.. and continue to take care of my mama
and family... In jesus name Amen!!

2007-01-01T12:45:00.000-08:00

We seprated to had breakfast

People who stay in Lay Tin house went to have breakfast their self. And the other who stays in mama house went to another place and eat Ba Kut Tae again.. Haha.. We had the mix wan and also the ba jut tae is in the claypot want. After breakfast we went back to seat around. So we left to see mama at about 11.30am.. Hee.. After visiting her we had to go down to times square to take bus back singapore. As i went to visit her and pray for her. msia auntie and uncle drive us to time square..

All of us had diffcuilt time looking for the place to take bus.. We finally found the hotel. The bus was here went up the bus.. We had some photography taken there.. With some of the auntie. And we had a group photography. we seldom had taking photography together. Is always the youngster come out with the idea... Haha... Before i left hee i give my dearest auntie a hug and also a kiss.. haha... Auntie S. Bee and also Auntie S. Keng.. We went off after that... We say bye to everyone.. Ask them to take care..

I told Auntie S. Keng to update me how mama condition.. As if she does not update i feel more worry..

.................................................

Shin yee and me

Yinn Ting and me

My cousin

Hey guess what there are doing?

007

Xiao Chai and Big Chai.. (uncle and Nephew)

Where is my auntie looking at?

My family... Not everyone here..

Auntie S. Keng and me

Auntie S. Muy and me

..Young girls playing Manjong..

Look at expression.. So funny

That THE END of the picture that i took on that day.. I think all of us very close to each other. e like to being together.. I am closes to my mum side family. I like to been with all my cousin , auntie and uncke

2006-12-31T00:08:00.000-08:00

We went for 2 session to visit her.

Today we will given a treat by sui pei mother. We had Ba Kut tay and went back to Lay Tin house and get some of our bags. We went to Mama house after that.

As there is a group went in the afternoon to see mama.. The group that goes in the afternoon was Auntie S . Keng , Auntie susan and my godmother family. After visiting her they came back..

The rest of them will stay at home.. Playing manjong i was talking to some of the auntie.. The group when to visit mama in the afternoon came home. Auntie Lay Choo went to buy lunch for us. I does not want to eat. Auntie S . Keng ask me eat a bit. So i eat a bit.. Heehee.. After eating we got red bean soup... Hee... About 5pm sui pei came over and look for me. She pass me my christmas present. Awhile we had to go to the hospital. The group that goes in the afternoon did not go in the evening. She is looking even better...

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The person who stay oppsite of mama... Pass away.. So mama heard the bi sound she felt frighten and close her eyes.. She start crying... I really hope i would able to go in.. All the auntie and uncle had to go in first.

Everyone told her no lah.. By the time auntie S. Hong went in the person opposite her had been rape. The indian family even crying very loudly.. As she feel more frighten. Mama shut her house. When i go in... I go in by the side hope that mama would not able to see.. When i went in there push the metal case in... Mama was okie.. After awhile.. When there open the metal case mama shut her eyes again.. Tears round down from her eyes.When there push the dead body away mama open her eyes. Ans point there and show and tell me that the person who stay opposite had pass away.

I told mama not to worry. As she will be all right. She had pass the danger stage. She will be well. She will be changing to normal ward soon. As auntie S. Hong told her that meiying and relative from singapore come and wish her good health... So she should be happy. I can feel that she is very frighten. I hope it would not affact her health. As i am so worry. About 8 we ask her to sleep. I pray that there is peace appoint her. So she could rest well. And be out of the CCU as soon as possible. As i am sure she want to leave a feel more year. As she is very scare to stay in the hospital.

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We went dinner after that. In the dinner there mention what happen to the rest. And we all reach there very early.. Everyone reach there and zenni the kids are not here. So auntie Lay Tin was angry. So there call them not to come. All the rest of the auntie ask them to come. Ended alot of problem. Through out the dinner auntie Lay Tiin does not look happy at all.. So keep scolding her kids. She in the toilet told auntie S. Keng what happen. Ending of the dinner auntie Lay Tin does not look happy and left first. So everyone actually plan to go to back mama house and play manjong till morning. Ended decided to go home. So the rest of us went decided to go to Auntie S. Hong house for countdown.

So went to Shin yee house. Ah seng uncle fallen asleep in the car. So we went there and let Ah hao and Ah beng kor kor to take a look and went back to mama house.

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We will chit chatting in the car and say before we reach mama house we might had to countdown in the car... We reach mama house still had another half and hour before new year. So we will chit chating. Awhile we seat around and chat. The first thing me and shin yee run out of the house and talk waiting for the fire cracker. Haha.. while counting 10 , 9 , 8 , 7 , 6 , 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 the fire cracker shoot up the sky. Was so beautiful... Then we wish everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

As i think all my auntie know that i would be having new year party in singapore and beacause i miss it. They company me and celebrate it with me.. Haha.. I feel so great to celebrate with them. This year i could not celebrate christmas with them. Coz of making me happy there enjoy it with me. Auntie S. Keng was very tired. But to company me.. Haha.. abt 12.30am she ask me to go up and sleep i dare not reject her ask i went up..

So while before we sleep she ask me about mama.. So i told her what happen. I can see that there is a sour feeling in her heart. As even she did not say anything much. She just hope that what ever happen will not affact mama... I also feel so sorry and given her a hug. And say good night... I Love her too...

2006-12-30T00:56:00.001-08:00

We decided to go visit Mama in the evening

In the morning auntie call and say that we will be having breakfast together with the mama family. As we went to had dim sum in one of the restaurant. Was a treat by Auntie S.Hong husband. We reach there very early. And we seated there waiting for them. As awhile everyonr can't wait anymore while my mum decided to order food some of them reach. hehe... As all of us had breakfast together.. I was waiting to see shin yee and also auntie S.Keng. While i respect everyone so i greet everyone. Then when i saw auntie S.Keng i greet her then i does not know what should i say? I keep quiet and listen to the rest. As i keep smiling and feel a bit shy..

After dim sum we went to mama house. Eveyone will looking at the Jade. I seated at the chair and feel like sleeping. After awhile auntie S.Keng told me that she is going to listen to some talk. At her friends house. IC... heee.. Then not long when she is going to leave the house soon she ask me whether i want to go with her. Not long she tink about it. She say i look tired so stay at her house better. I say ok.. Not long she went to her room and come down she asked me to go with her. I smile and say i am fine with anything. As i know she love me alot. She want to hear and see. So maybe i will be the distrbuildter. haha.. So i went. I was a bit shy at first. She is very nice to be my side most of the time and keep me company. She explain to me and ask me to ask my dad to take some of the suppliment. Some of the people even thought that i am her daughter. Some people say we look alike. I smile and she reply them as she is not marry.. hee.. She say she is from singapore and she is my nieces.

Everyone was like a bit suprise that i would company her. I am not sure about whether should i join. As is the Usana talk.. Hee.. End of the talk her friend ask me whether i want to join i say let me think about it. I would let my aunt know if she want to join. So after that her friend jokes with her that if she join will come under her friend. My aunt was like what. I bring her here. And if she join should come under my aunt. As i smile and say of course if i join will come under my aunt. As i am much more easy to complicate with my aunt..

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After the talk auntie drive me to Kuala Lumper. Was very near midValley.So she say we should grad some food at Mid Valley before we go hospital. I asked do we still have time. I am okie with anything. She say yeah.. On our way we lose our way. By the time we think we should just go to the hosptial and grad some drink. As we reach some of them will already there. And when we decided to go down and grad a drink auntie S.Bee and S.Hong had bring porridage for us.so we had our porridage. After visiting mama she look a bit better. we left there at 8.30pm.. They decided to go auntie Lay Tin house there for some dessert. After dessert there say there will go back to her house and chit chat. So some of them thought that we will be going over to their place. So there follow. And most of them went back home. Heehee.. Auntie S.Keng went over lei then my aunt them came over and say there are not coming anymore. So she ask us we don't want to go over to her house and stay ma? Our reply was that we go over tomorrow. Hahaha... Some she say up to us..

Auntie Lay Tin ask them to come over for breakfast. As my ah khim in msia is going to give us a treat. A treat of but kut tay.. Ask them whether want to join us. If join us had to be there by 8.30am... hee.. Her reply was so early... I am happy... As i told myself not to tink too much. Trust in the lord that mama will be well... I keep praying. i was too tired i went up and fallen asleep..

2006-12-30T00:56:00.000-08:00

2006-12-29T12:03:00.000-08:00

Reach there the first morning

All of us reach there midnight on 28 December 2006.We went to auntie Lay Tin house and sleep. Auntie susan and susie sleep at Zenni room with her. Yi boy room was poh chai uncle and his wife. Auntie room was onli my godmother , auntie and the son. Hahaha... I think the most people in auntie Lay Tin room.. We are so happy to sleep together. Hehehe... As my mum , Auntie Jean , Uncle Jimmy , Ah yung uncle Auntie Lay Tin , Yi boy and me sleep in auntie Lay Tin room.haha..

We wake up in the morning went for breakfast and we go down to the hospital directly. As i went the first day to visit mama.. Her whole body is still swallon. As all the auntie went in and see. They say she look rosie.. I went in the first thing i felt was not.. She is actually swallon that why her face look red. hehe.. Once i see her with so many tub that pop into her i feel so sad and burst out and cry.. i feel so heart crack. I came out of the CCU with tears.. I feel even more worst to see her. As i feel so sad... I am crying... Non stop.. I decide to pray and message friend in singapore and pray with me. I am so sad. I could not stop crying. As i does not want her to see i am crying so i had to be strong. All my friend was encouraging me.. I start to be still apoint the lord and pray..

2006-12-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

Taking the coach today to Msia

Sui Wei brother is here with us. He came here to apply for job. As today we are taking the night coach back malaysia. As we decided to go visit my mama... All of us go back with hope to see her get well. So we took the coach at 5pm.

Before i went to take my coach i actually went back to work to settle some stuff before i left to malaysia. My mind is always full of worry..

2006-12-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

Merry Xmas!! Back Christmas...

Today i wakes up in the morning very happily.. As i thot it will be a day of joys...In the afternoon my mum pick up a call. From malaysia..It does not sound right. Then i heard from my mother that say Auntie Lay Tin called from malaysia. Said that Mama went into hospitalize again. I was like huh what? Why does she need to enter hosptial. She said that her whole body was swallon and also could not breath. Does not sound good. So i was upset and i run into my room. I start crying and call my dear leader.I told her what happen and she encourage me ask me to pray. My mum inform my other auntie. They decided to go malaysia while everything is settle.. They say will only be able to go only tomorrow. As i call my boss to apply left. I was so worry. I could not able to eat and feel very sad.

What a bad gift that i had for christmas. As i keep crying. I feel so worry and does not hope to lose my LOVE one. As i treat her not only my grandaunt but instead of the other granny of mind and also mama... She love me alot. I also love her alot. I really pray hard that she would be well soon...

God I pray that you will take care of her and also allow her to get well soon. I love her.. Even she is in danger in CCU.. I need you to come and take care of her. Lord do be with her and my family member in malaysia. I know everyone is really busy taking care of her. Do strengthen my family with strength and hope. Pray that you are there looking after every single person. As my whole family are going to rush back home to be with the family.. Pray all this in the name of the father amen...

2006-12-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

24 December.. Merry Xmas and Happy birthday today babies!!

I want wish all my friend who had born today. As i am sure it was a special day to some of them. I think the feeling to born in the same day with Jesus was great. I want to wish your Happy birthday and the rest Merry Xmas.. Special to Auntie Jilvia, Gina, my cousin Yi Xin and Ai Xin...

Today was the celebration service.. Last night i could not sleep well.As i am so excited about today. I am so rejoices.. To worship Jesus. As we did well for English and Chinese platform. Pastor came in to the changing room and told us that we did very well... Added extra 50% to the dance... COol.. All of us rejoices.. Thank god for everything.

In the night i had dinner with chelie, Tracy, carl and one of the other friend. Hee.. After dinner we went to meet my cell for count down. We will in Orchard. Orchard was very crowned. One of my friend he has lose his phone. Someone had put his hand in his pocket and stolen his phone. So the rest of us was very careful about it. After count down the rest went out. I was suppose to go home. Halfway when one of the friend give me a lift ask me that there are going to Christin house to have a small gethering whether i want to go. I say okie.. So i join them until 3plus. This friendly friend given me a lift home.. Hee... Cool...

2006-12-23T13:25:00.000-08:00

Training.. For Xmas Celebration Services...

Hee... Today we will practising for the song that we are going to perform on sunday. They recast the people for dancing. So there told me that i will not be cast for this time. I was okie. hee.. At least i am still dancing for Joy to the world. I enjoy the step. So i will not be dancing for King of majesty.. Hee.. Anyway my line work and i could not catch up with the dance. As that when Kelvin told ask that from next yr on we will have trainning to built up our line work and everything. I was telling myself haha.. I will give myself time to learn. That is another year if i still can't make it then maybe my gift is not there. As that what i feel about. Hee.. So i hope i could do well and carry on...

2006-12-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

..Look at my two darling making their own shoe..

White Shoes..

Paint...

Material that we have..

My sweet girl (Kerena) is painting her own shoe

My princess (Amelyn) is painting her shoe with her favourite colour(Purple)

So seriously painting her shoe..

They are cousin..

This is a few week ago the saturday we spend our time at Kerena Entertainment doing painting. We painting our own shoes.We spend a good time painting...

2006-12-19T06:33:00.000-08:00

So Cool

As today my sister in christ advice me what shoud i do? As i am not sure whether that God is it sending people to tell me is time for me to ministry to anothe church or cell. As i am confuss by some of my friend. When i had a way out but i am not sure whether what i wanna do is it right. So i continue to seek the lord. He is good. He know that i am in trouble so he had send a nice friend who has concern of me. That is Cass. Heehee.. She ask me what did i mean that i put on my msn that "Whether should i change cell or church" means.. So i smile and say hee.. Thinking of changing. She ask me is because of some problem ma? I say yea. So i told her what happen.

She say she don't believe in changing cell and church. So she told me i should seek the lord but not friend. And unless is God calling.She think that i should not run away but talk to my leader. And i even told her that i am not close to my cell. She told me she is not close to her G12 group too.. As for this had to be build up. What she say make me think what ever i tink is right. As i tink i shld talk to my leader. I told her that people think i am not growing this church or cell. Her reply was that is all depend on us how much does we want to grow more like him.

----------------------------------------------------

As now i felt that i just join my dance minstry. I like my dance Minstry, Cell, Church service and friend in church. I does not feel right to just leave like that. When i heard friend tell me to leave my church i had the intend too and also does not feel right. As i feel there is something that i treasure alot. And there is something that i can't let it go. So i did not feel that feel that i should leave.

There is another thing i want to say I always Love people in dance and my leader.

2006-12-17T23:49:00.000-08:00

Where should i go?

As i am now in this group.. My jie jie is saying i should leave cell as... so many year she felt that i am not growing in FC... I am seeking the lord where should i go? GMC or Citivison.. As today i feel so sad... i tink i have no faith in my cell.. I hope god can due with me... I am thinking of not going to be baptise now and in FC... I had not faith in myself. I am going to bring a closure to it.. As now i am going to pray and wait for god answer.I still want to thank god for my life and everything in me... I love jesus... I love my dance sister too..

And I want to be baptise is not just delicate to public i am christ but i want to share the joy of the lord. And i know that god die for my sin and he wash away my sin... I am the child of god... I AM THE CHILD OF GOD>>> Amen... I love him...

2006-11-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

27 - 28 August

After my cousin wedding day i had nothing much to do. My duty is to company my relative for shopping. We went to Vivo city and also bugis.. Hahaha. My aunt bought some gift for us. It was fun, but i lose some of my aunt when we are suppose to meet and go for lunch. My cousin give them a treat.

This time was the harder to take care of my aunt. As some of them lose halfway.. I went to hurt for them. After that we went to Tia Xia Er for lunch.. Some of us went home and some of us continue shopping in bugis. We break up into 3 group.

1 group went to bencloon and shop. There are S.Hong, S.Mui and her two daughter. The other group went to OG that is my other 2 auntie. And 3 of us went to seiyu. Shin yee and me heard that there going to OG we all shake our heard. So shin Yee , S.keng and me went Seiyu.. Was very fun shopping with both of them. Half way shopping we meet Ah hor kor kor.... He was also shopping in Seiyu.. Before we go back we went to buy Cheese cake and eat.

Abt 6 we meet up coz we had to go back to jurong East for dinner. As auntie Jean had bought the resturant.

The second day we have breakfast and all of them went back to pack their bag. Shin Yee and I went to jurong and get the bag that she want. After that auntie S.keng start driving bak to msia.

That day they reach home abt 9.30pm. As them went to eat dinner before go home. Auntie S.Keng given me a call when there reach home.

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It was a cool time that i could catch up wit my auntie, uncle and some of my close cousin.. I wanna say I LOVE to be with them. I wonder when will i meet them again. I really hope before my school start i can meet them again.

2006-11-26T11:13:00.000-08:00

Diana Wedding Day

Today i has to wakes up at 5.30 in the mornig to help. alarm clock ring we all wake up. So i went to the kitchen to help them.. After helping i went to see Michelle jie mixing the drink for the bride groom..

Then i help auntie Lay Tin.. About 7am people start coming. We worry that we would not have enough time to prepare. Ended we will able to prepare.. I went to had a quick bath.. I had to get really cause when the groom is here i am helping the sister and also taking video....

So i took the video the whole day. Then i mange to talk to auntie S.Keng and auntie S.Mui.. The bride and the groom went off then we watch the video in the room. Watching video of auntie S.Mui family went to Australia.

Some of them went to play manjong in poh chai uncle house. I went there to sleep. When i wakes up alot of people is there. I stop the people who are playing manjong at 5.30pm. Ask them to go back and prepare. At about 6 the bus was here.

Auntie Jean was angry with some auntie.. Then just taking bus there all actually also create problem. So sian... We went there super early.. So i went to the reception and take the list that i in charge. We entre the resturant at 7.05pm.. I inform them where there seat. Later auntie wanted to chang seat so i help them and change. At first i was not seating with auntie S.keng ended i am.. hahaha.. SO cool.. I even seat with Shin Yee.. Hehehe.. People who took the bus here actually took the bus back... So happy..

2006-11-25T11:48:00.000-08:00

Lay Tin's group reach

Heee... I did not sleep early last night. As i sleep about 4am in the morning. So today i wakes up at 7am to prepare going to train station and pick them up with my mum. We waited in the train station for very long. Uncle Jimmy sudden ask me whether am i free to do Video Recording. I feel funny.haha.. i say can.. That point of time i was thinking of course, I will be there to help up ma..

So we decided to go down to my place market and had breakfast. Uncle Jimmy and my godfather went with us. So after breakfast we all decided to go down Chinatown. Some of them say doesn't want the shop. So we decided 2 Car will go up to Jurong first. The rest will follow me home. So auntie Lay Tin, Lay Choo and the husband follow me. hehe.. I went back to pack my bag to go up to Jurong and stay. My mum was trying get the thing that she want to give it to her sisters. So not long uncle Jimmy call and say some of them wanted to go chinatown. And say that my parent did not bring them.

My mum given Ah khim a call. Ask her to help us to bring them there. She does't want to help.. My mum was angry. Not long there call and say that there doesn't want to go. Ended all go to jurong Point. Sickening. SO he say that he can come down and pick us. Are we really.. I told him yea.

Auntie Lay Tin say want to buy the bowl so asked Uncle Jimmy to drive her and get. We went down to Redhill market. She could only get about 143. That not enough to start a business. Decided to go down to Juron St 52. As auntie Jean call and ask me whether what time am i coming up. I say soon...

I say before your going to Jurong St 52 alight me at Jurong Point. Auntie Jean want me to bring shin yee them around. There alight me. So i meet them for lunch. After lunch i went to with auntie Jean and get some stuff.... Preparing for the wedding... After that we went home.

About 4.30pm we went down to get some kuih kuih and saw auntie siew keng and shin yee still shopping. In the night we went to seng song for dinner. I did not talk much to auntie S.Keng. I feel funny.. I think i had a good time... I love that day..

Although in the morning some of the aunt create some trouble but there is always fun time...

2006-11-24T23:03:00.000-08:00

Reach Singapore

My grandaunt family had reach singapore today. I preparing going over to company them for dinner. My friend had ticket to go for the garden of my heart performance. So i decided to go and watch with them. I decided that the next day then go up early to company my relative. As the second day Auntie Lay Tin's that group will reach in the morning. So i did not went on friday.

I went to watch.. Teresa, Ceceli, Benny, Linda and me enjoy the show. We got the VIP seat. After watching we decided to go and had a drink at orchard road. After had a drink I did not had MRT to get back to jurong. So decided to get a bus back to my place. And go over the nect morning to bring them for shopping.

2006-11-22T09:03:00.000-08:00

Sudden Feeling

Today i went to work.. In the morning i sudden feel upset. wit some little thing.. And now i feel worst. As i feel more sad wit my aunt.. And some other thing. As i think is time to be alone for awhile. I feel far away from everyone.. Even the people i cares alot of me i feel so different.. Maybe is good to be alone...i'm really lose..

Now i even feel i am far away from classmates.. As i use to be very close with my secondary and also my primary sch friend. Now i felt i start not to understand them. As maybe i am losing something in life. The day that i count i feel more upset. As is closes to the day that my grandmother had pass away. As i never ever able to put it down. Is only her who can gives me 101% of love and even attention.. I MISS HER... No one can replace her in my life.. Although i had pray and try to put it down i feel hard.. Who understand.. People will just say god do and also there.. I don't tink so.. In my life nothing can replace that.. Sometime i even hope she would able to come back to me. I know that would not happen and also i even had the thought that my grandmother is not dead. Is the fire that burn her to death.. That not true as she is already gone and is with the lord. she die on the 27 November 2001..I know that time i cry for month.

I really hope that the person i cares will not treat me differently. This year is the most difficult year to gone through. As alot of thing happen in my family and life. I need to rebuke every single of them. As recently i hear from my cousin about her health i feel even sad. As i loves her alot. She is very close to me. If really hope that i dare and also giving her a hug and a kiss.. As she will be in singapore...

2006-11-17T08:31:00.000-08:00

My cousin was here...

Few day ago, My cousin call me and told me that she is coming here for business trip. She told me that she is coming here with her friend and the boss. Ended the last minutes her friend not coming. And does not expect her to stay in her same room the boss. So she say she doesn't want to stay alone. Can i go to the hotel and company her 1 night. I say of course. when you call i will be here for you. I ask her when is she coming. She say she will be here on the 16 Nov morning. And going back on the 17 Nov evening. So decided not to go for dance. As i think she is more important. So after work i went to meet her. She was in the Hotel. She told me that she had to eat with the boss and also the principal. So what about me? I say hmmm... Haha, is okie.. I can had dinner alone. She ask me whether i wanna the join them and or she don;t go and stay in the hotel with me. So i say you should go. I would able to take care of myself. So she went. I waited for her at the hotel. I went to get her a gifts. I went for dinner. As she came back..

I ask her to go wash up and i put hot water for her. Hee. After wash up we watch tv and also chit chat for awhile. We sleep at abt 11 plus...

As the next morning she has to wakes up early for another meeting. So i bought them to the nearby place and had breakfast. After breakfast she was late for the meeting. I told them to go.. I am okie. As my friends coming to meet me.

I went to sunshine plaza and meet up with my old boss while waitting for my gamummy. So i waited. While she finish she given me a call. We suppose to go watch a movie ended we did not. As the ovie start too late. So we walk around. Then while we going to have lunch i my cousin call. I decided not to eat and went to meet her. As she has only about 3 hhours plus to shop for gift. So i went to meet her. We went to shop around.

I enjoy holding her hands. I am so happy to shop with her. I love her alot. As she is very nice lady.She share a bit about she gives birth to the second child. She nearly die. She is so brave.. I can see that she is working very hard for a girl... hee... As i hope that god will grant her wish.

While in the night after her meeting i send her off to airport wit my uncle. She ask me to take care and i told her to take care as i heard that she is weak. Ask her to rest more. I ask her to promise me that she will take care of herself and be strong. i am always here for her.she given me a hug and also a kiss. I say to her that I LOVE HER... hee..

2006-11-13T00:35:00.000-08:00

I am dancing..

Today i only dance 1 song. I feel so great. I dance the song " One Way".. The dance step is very nice. The costume that we wear this time was very nice. I like it very much. As before sunday i went to my dearest gamummy house and stay. As i feel so great to stay with her. So i went church from her house.

As after dance i went to join them to Simei. Although i don't like the food there. They alway went to the same coffee shop i feel the food is boring. Always the same. I had no choice and i actually eaten after praising the lord. So i thot i won't be eating but i still follow. haha... As they always tell me that, that is the compare place to meet up.. I tink ok lor.. But i do think sometime we could go other place for lunch. I feel very sian the food at there and church. As i eat at church where never we need to practise dance and also dancing that service. I tink if i choose between simei or at hall 9 or even the nearer food court to church. Is always better. They got nice food there..

I tink i got the same taste as the dance friend. We share same interest and also had a same taste for food... Hmm..That so great right. As i tink we could get together well.. As i Love ppl in Team C and D. So 3 cheer for team C and d...

2006-11-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

What a worry day...

As today i wakes up late. I tink sunday i feel super tired. As i went down to work. Today i suppose to meet this guy.. Who is my.... hahaha.. I tink i don't have to say your should know who is that.

i actually heard from my chairmen that this coming friday the time had change to 5.30pm.. and everyone are suppose to be there.. As he say that we will able to get our result on that day itself.

And tomorrow is the test for my intership job and i am also very worry about it.

Is like now sudden everything came about. I feel so worry. I am worry about result and the job that we going to get.. My heart just feel not rite? How can i feel better. I am scare... As will everything will go well ma? I am so scare the day that reach.. Hope everything will go fine. And i tink i had to work hard for this coming thursday rehersal. I think i had to work for that.. I had a great fear.

2006-11-04T23:59:00.001-08:00

I was wondering what day is today. As my mum came into my room. She ask me that after she work wanna company her to go for injection then we go down to bugis.. So i say okie. We went to shop then later not long she compare that she is hungry. So we went to had lunch. After that we continue shop for swaroski.. After that we decided to go chinatown. Then we went... haha... She is in the good mood. In the way that we as family seldom had dinner or even go out together. So today my mum am i went shopping together. I am so happy.. Oh men... Cool...In the night she ask me whether do i had dinner with them. I say okie... Hahaha, i spend time with family today. I give glory to god..

2006-11-04T23:59:00.000-08:00

Look at my new shoes

Yesterday i decided to design my news shoes. So i completed the shoe today. At decided to upload the photo... Hee.. So excited to wear them tomorrow. Let see my shoes..

I painted the colour green.. My favourite colour.

Look at 1 side of my dots look funny. I decided to have polka dot on my shoe.. So i painted green and use cotton buck to do the dots.

So i decded to put lays on it. Haha.. Now it look nice...

I sew the button on it. SO nice rite. Is all my favourite colour... Hee...

I will try to upload the picture of my shoe that is at first unpainted... Hee... So ur can compare the different.

2006-11-03T23:35:00.000-08:00

..I am free.. :p

Hey..Yo.. Finally i am freeeeeeee from school work... As i had trying hard to study.. So coolzz... I finally can enjoy going out with friends. . I miss does of them... haha... Study taken away of my time...

As i now i would want to catch with alot of thing in church. Especcially is my cell.. I finally can go cell lei..

I wanna thank the people who always remember me in prayer.. That is dance team Cecelia , Carol , Sarah , Cass and not forgetting my Jie Linda.. As she is such sweet. I had prob in school she is the 1 who hear my sorrow and sweet time.. I thank her so much... Being a great leader and a great sister of mind.

And not forgetting my dearest auntie S. Keng who alwaysd being so sweet. I wanna give thank to my gamummy. As she had being a great gamummy always standing beside me supporting me in my studys.. As in my final work she came and help me and gives me alot of advice.. Thank to be here and pei me burn midnight oil and send me to sch the nxt day.. Love you lots...

Yea... Finally i am going catch up wit friend Adeline , Su Lin , Cynthia and also alot of people from GMC and CitiVision. I wanna catch up with the people in my church.

As the song I am free to run I am free to leave for you... I am free.. Yea.. I am free...

2006-10-30T00:51:00.000-08:00

Sunday is a day break..

I could not wakes up in the morning as the night before i sleep super late. I feel very tired in church services but trying hard to concernate and praising the lord i try to be feel with desire again. Through out the week i had use up my desire in doing project. Although i am not confident that i would able to finish. I would hope i could finish them. So working super hard each day to do the work. I am Most worry of my 3D i tink..

Don't want talk about that. As i need to go back to do work. Today my dearest sister was nt in services. Today i decided to join my cell. I was happy that i could go church. After service hoping we could go to bugis and had lunch as i also want to get some stuff... My leader say that they want to go Simei for lunch but was nt very happy with the deisicion makes. So i ask whether can we go to some other place for lunch. She say that she doesn't know why i dislike go there and eat. As i tink that everytime we go there. What i wanna eat also dun hv.. And i felt the food there is not nice.. I am sick and tired with the food there. She ask me this question that even i don't like can't i just follow the cell. I feel was nt the cell. She wanna follow the guys group that all. As that what i tink.

Like to day i eat mix rice. The rice is to sticky and the veg got funny taste and the sour fish got the curry taste. Is so aweful. Yekki... \

So she say is either i go or i don't. I really don't feel like going. She did not say anything much and she went to queue for the bus.. I am like blur blur standing there. That point of time she did not really cares about me anymore. So i feel super hurt...I thot she is no longer like last time. So decided to give her a call and ask her where is she, and thot of telling her that i go back for lunch.. I was upset and doesn't sure whether shld i tell her that. So i juz went over. We went there for lunch...

Actually the true is that my mum had cook lunch at home. Wanted me to ask my leader over for lunch. I just did not dare to tell her. As she is angry and I am upset. So i keep very quiet. I walk over did not even think of talking to her. So i talk to Hannah but ignore her for awhile. While in the coffee shop she talks to me and in sudden i felt my anger towards her is like gone. I could just talk to her.. Sometime i felt i am to soft hearted... Doesn't know whether is good or bad.

So after lunch she went to harbourfront with me and check my work to give me more idea what i should do for my project. After checking she went home and i went home to get some stuff and went down to the printing shop. After get what i wanna get i went back. I took a rest and eat what ever my mother had cook. At 7.30pm i went to meet Tracy and had company her for dinner. After that i came home and do my work...

I doesn't know why i decided to send Her a message. Thank for being nice at time. And love you. She reply that my dearest daughter in the Lord, love you dearly.. I feel so sweet and heart warming... Although in the morning was a bad day but i tink is nice of that..

2006-10-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

I feel so lazy...

I wakes up in the morning about 10am i feel super tired.. As last night i did not sleep very late... I am to tire to continue my work.. As i had a tired day with m practise in church in the evening. My leader wasn't around. I am total lose. Hehee... Today i was suppose to go to school to hand in my Mc and also go down to the printing shop to print some notes. I went to down after taking a nag. That will about 1 plus. And i went to print after that. I went home straight.

I reach home i feel tired. So in my room watching tv and felt asleep.. As i feel that i getting lazy. I still got a lot of work to do. I wakes up at 7pm i went down collect my mum key and i went down to kerena Entertainment. I came home about 8 plus.. I watch tv till about 9 i start doing my work.. I start with 3D as i had not start at all. Although i am not sure what to do but i am trying to start. Hee... So i am still continue doing..

So sian.. I feel like giving up. As i only had a week time. How am i going to finish. I have no faith that i will able to complete.. People ask me trust in the lord. I feel a bit far away from god as i had some problem.. I won't write it on my blog.. Is some personal problem. As i feel that I am drawing away from god. I start to feel that. As with some problem... I tink i better not say it here... Let see how it goes then decide..

2006-10-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

Is Love a strong words

I am wondering that is Love a very strong words to say to a friend. As i am suddenly thinking of that.. In school and also in church i always tell my dearest friends and sister that i treat I LOVE HER.. Hee.. As now i even in time i call my aunt i did say thay I care for her and ve her too.. Sometime she even gives me a hugz.

As i feel dunno how to start to tell my gamummy how i feel so i actally wrote on my blog and ask my dearest gamummy to read..After she read she did nt get upset with me but she encourages me.. I will try to do my best... I am thankful.. I wanna the say i cares for her and love you lot... Thank for being such great helper in my life..

2006-10-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

I am in full of stress

Who can come and help me.. I am full of stress. I feel lose in doing my project.i need to hv a break.. i worry that i would nt able to finish my work on time. I really had that feeling of stopping school. I so worry if i stop my parent and relative will be very disappointed. As i am so sad... I am so worry.. what can i do.. Life is so miserable... I don't want to disappoint them.. And i am struggling.. I felt that i choose a wrong path in here.. Teach me what to do for the next step.. I am so sad... Who can understand.. Everytime i tell my leader that i want to give up she say i would able to make it... I doesn't see that.. I am so out of no where.. I am lose... Everytime she put in more hope in me i feel worst. Each time she tell me that i would able to make it i feel that 1 day i will really disappoint her. i feel so bad.. As she even pay for my project stuff i feel scare that i will disappoint her that i did not put in any effect. The pain is like nobody know.. I am so scare to be disappoint and also doesn't want to disappoint ppl who around me that cares for me... i am scare that i will disappoint her.. As she is so dearly to me..Sometime i even hope i could hug her tide and cry.. So every1 always tell me to press on... Or to preseverance... But i really can't take it anymore.. in time i really hope to kill myself. I am scare... i always worry abt my parent. As there are nt close.. Each day i am afraid if i die my parent fight no 1 can stop them. Ended i really don't know what should i do.. I feel so depress... I need some1 to help me... Who can really teach me what should i do?

2006-10-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

Cook my own dinner

Today i wakes up late..So decided to cook my own dinner... I stay home for the whole day accept i went to marketing in the afternoon. I came back i stay whole day home to do my project.. Let see what i had cook.

Mee hoon , crispy chicken with seawead and Hot chocolate drink

Look at my delicious food.. Yummy..

2006-10-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

Was my dance too... Hee.. I like to join my dance friend... There are very friendly.As sunday after be with my dance friend i went to join my leader to relax then after while her boyfriend here i went to meet faith and the galz...

A Toys'u'rs

Look at constance... So scary

Star Wars Vs Witch (constance & Faithiee)

Witchessssssssssss.. [Faith & Winson]

Brown hair gal look like 007

Wa... Superman wear skirt and had long hair.

Eeee.... Monster....

Look at Sharilyn became a monster...
With ugly teeth.

Look at both pretty fairy lady.

Or no.. All of us turn into a animal.
Accept Constance turn into a monster.
Heee.. No lah coz not enough face mask.

haha... faith head grow to horn..

Pig Devil..

Flooded with elmo

Look Sharilyn has a twin

Faith also got twin.Both of them got different character.

Haha.. trying to box herself. But 1 side got cut off.

oh.. faithiee head was cut off..

Both of them give birth to a fury Elmo..
Haha. it was a men of jokes.

All of us taking picture with the road
\show person in Vivo City.

All smiling sweetly

Charis..

Waa... So many mask for us to have fun

See all of us wear the pretty hats..

Look at me becoming Harry Potter.

2006-10-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

After performance we went Dim Sum 10 Sep. 2006
Cel, Ee Woon, Linda, me, Carol, May, Bradon, Sarah, Nancy and Cass

Finally i got the 10 Sep 2006 that we dance on service picture... Hee... And we went dim sum wan... Haha.. With all my pretty jie jie...

After chinese service worship... All pretty galz..

possing for a pic.. Cheerz..

We went for dim Sum at harbourfront.. We had buffet... So fun.. We are very on with thing..

what is brad doing with his eyes.. Hei why taking me while i was chuing my food...

wah.. 3 sister in christ... From the same cell.

Cass and Cel

See our left over food.. All of us trying very
hard to finish them..

Linda and Ee Woon

Carol and Cass.. Sweetest smile

Bradon and Carol

Cel and Ee Woon

See all eating so happily

Handsome boy taking picture with pretty lady

All enjoy eating no one notice i took a snap shot.
Pretty Teresa and me

2006-10-20T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hee..As today is the make up lesson for external. We went to the teletabics lands.. R u wonder where is it..Haha.. Is the new shopping mall in singapore. That is Vivo City. The biggest shopping in town.. Haha.. So we had drawing there is so nice.. Let me upload some pic to show you.. You will sure while...

Nice rite... Is so wonderful lor.. Maybe i day i should go down and take picture of myself with frenz.. haha... That will be so nice rite..

Okie.. After my class i meet portia as she is going to get me nice top for this sunday services performances. As she is very nice to me.. I feel so thankful.. She help alot in my studies. She company me all the way till i get my clothes... Thank you gamummy i love you forever...

2006-10-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

Today is thursday. Is the day where it will cheer my day and also remind me tomorrow is friday. Is going to the end of the week. Wa So good men.. But tinkin in another side is bad. Where i did not do much mu work..Sian..

Ah.. Me when to hand in SA and had went to the library trying to do research. I tink i did not do much work. As time is short. I went to bring some picture and went to dance.. Before everyone reach i try to do a bit of work. So i did..While My jie is playing the guitar and i am doing my work. I think that is so great. It gives me mood to do work.

So today i was not well but i try to go for rehersal as this coming sunday we are going to dance. And i am nt very sure wit the step yet. Towards the end i was a bit wonder will all of us go to the stage but it was a bit disappointing.. That some of us is on the ground. Maybe we are not good enough lor.. Whatever.. Shld try harder the next round...

A bit of happy as i heard from Cass that i do better in dances but need to stand straight. Hee... That is so great. I shall practise more and get better each day.. haha... Wat a great day...

2006-10-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

I was not able to concernate on my work yesterday. Has i feel super tired. It was because i am sick. And today was as bad as yesterday. I did not able to go school. I was having fever. And now i feel a little better.So i decided to do my work. As i had no more time.. I am going to hand in my finally project soon.. So better tired to do som work. As i am still a bit lose. Who can help me..

Oh.. Today i was a bit cheer up as i heard good news from msia. Although i was a bit sad not going to sch but i heard that my mama come back from taiwen. She since to look okie but she due to the long hour in the flight she still look tired. And now when she walk she needs a assistance beside. I continue pray for her that she will get well.. And hope God will continue to take care of her. Wat a good day to hear that..

2006-10-16T23:53:00.000-07:00

I came back home after school.. Trying to look for a place where i could go print my work . Ended i could not find. Is okie then do it in school...

I am still worry for my mama's. Really wonder how is she now? Has she went back to msia already.. Is she still very weak? Has she asleep? I really beside worrying i can only pray for her and also hope that she get well soon... As i am also wonder how is my dearest aunt S.Keng's as she is now alone in msia. I tink she must be asleep or taking care of the dog. God please take care of both of them and also G.soon's uncle where he is in taiwen, hope that the treatment is fine.. God i know i can't be there wit them but you will... As i am now studying... So pls take care of both of them...

2006-10-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

Since so long time did not update my blog.. As i i tink sch started i am very lazy and even since i come back from msia... I even feel more lazy.. As i went to msia on the 6 oct to 9 oct..

This preiod of time i went back i heard alot of bad news... And some family problem.. As i feel worst... Even seeing maid run away from home... So sad.. i tink this preiod of time my aunt sure very buz wit work and also cleaning up the house. As the house is so big... I can see that my aunt is upset with some of my other aunt at that point of time. Even she did not mension much.. As i am there i went to keep her company and hope she mingy with the relative frm singapore hope it will bring her day better. As i am there i spend time talking to her.. And also sharing part of my life in Lasalle...

i really got a good time with them.. As my mama's had not come back from taiwen.. She heard that we r there so she wanted to come back but due to her health she will not able to come back.. As i hope she is better now.. I am sure that god's is there taking care of her and the rest of them in msia.. I did a video and ask my aunt to show it to her when she is back.. Hope will cheer her up and also her health will be better.

Although when we coming back i had the feeling dun wan to come back.. I tink i am juz want to run away from school work. I am still back..Due to the day that i spend wit my aunty uncles and also a good time with my cousins. I hug them very tightly.. Especially i given sui pei's and sui wei's a huggie hug. I told them that when there are free they must come to singapore and visit me.

I am back but i look very moody. Is coz of alot of thing. I am moody.. As i am not sure how to express them but i decided not to talk and also dun really wan to share.As i tink my sisters in christ and also friends had notice that.. Give me some time i had to get over it.. I am sure i will be able to get over it. And everything will come to the end. However i know that thing happen i should not keep feeling that way, Even i am moody i still carry on and looking at the bright side of life.

I am looking forward to holiday.... I can't wait till them.. oh men...

2006-10-14T01:46:00.001-07:00

7 Oct. - 8 Oct. 2006

Kar Hoe's wedding

Lay Tin's and Ah Yuch's

Zeying's and I

S. Hong New Home
[Karaok Room]

2006-10-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

Hee... Today is sunday i feel so relax. And today is children's day. Haha... I am no longer a children. Hee... Anyway today i went to church. And today is celebrating family day for my church and for children there is a carinval in church. I was suppose to volunteer as a helper for the carinval. Ended i did not call May.

Later on Saturday night my sister ask me whether to go beach with them on sunday.So i told her to be confirm.

Today was happy in church. Pastor family show as her family magic. I enjoy the show. After service We went to have lunch in Tampines. We took a bus from there to go East coast.

I had a fun time with All the 3 beauty ladies that God had created. We seat in mac for a while with amy them and some of us play boards games. And after the game we decided to go to the beach. Enjoy the wind. We play the game that is with numbers. Is abit like manjong kind. Is so fun.. After awhile every1 is tired. So we thot of taking a nag.We seat round and sleep. Is so fun.. And relax.. I enjoy the time be with them. I always enjoy them in my life.. Thank God for them...

Hahaha... muz be wonder who are there rite? hehe.. That is Nancy, Cassendra , Linda and me...

2006-09-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

hi... I am super sad with my family.. My sister after marry i really feel hard to see her.She don't even care about me. I am so like in need of help she also did not ask. And even entre lasalle for so long she doesn't even call and ask me how i am. And for my dad he doesn't have any money to give me for all my project. wat lor.. And my mum think that my church leader is my ATM . Is like why didn't i take money for my church leader. I am super sian with the family. Y did i leave and born in such family. I am so sick and tire... Can i just kill myself or stop studying. I am very tired lor... I need money... i am like going crazy everyday worrying... Why did i leave in the world. I am so sad... If can i really hope to kill myself and end my life. maybe i really should..... I HATES MYSELF...

2006-09-23T10:57:00.000-07:00

haha... 2day is saturday.. I have never feel that weekend is such a relax weekend since i started sch.. Start school for a feel month already. I everyday onli rushing mu assignment. And now is a new term. So haven't got new assignment so i should enjoy the time. As now although i feel a bit worry and i try to get more rest now. If not when assignment come in i would not be able to get rest. Like today i actually suppose to go and do work. Ended i went to play basketball and after that i company friend to play bowling. So by the time i come back i am too tired.. So i went to rest.. And now i am super awake men... Today i am happy. I heard that my best friend is ok.. And she is going to continue to work for a future. I am happy for her. She and me had decided to work even harder the new term that coming. Hee... Now i wonder that my 3d we had to do touch up or leave it. I wonder end of the semster would we need to bring our work up again and improve on it.. Heee... I hope nt.. I really feel a bit lazy to touch on them. And is like if we have to do touch up then we would have more thing to do. then we will not able to have enough time to do term 2 work. haha that how i spend my day with a little of worry.

2006-09-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

HEE.. i tink i had been struggling in school badly.. I wanna thank LInda, my team C and my cell leader who is spiritually supporting me and also praying for me. And now i can actually put down the struggle i have. As today i was able to pray then upset of my result. Although after class i went to orchard with classmates to relax. And i had told myself not to go for dance prastice today. Then i feel god calling me to go. And when my friend actually say you can't just dun go for 1 time ma. I felt that it like sudden wakes up. So i say no.. I should go... Hehe... So i went. Although is late. I did not really enjoy the practise today. Also because wondering should drop out from dance.. After that we are suppose to dance in group. I am no confident of myself. And worries other seeing my mistake.. So when kelvin them come back on time. He say that the assignment. I feel more stress. And i make more mistake. they did not say anything bad encourage me to jia you.. I am so glad. While waiting for pastor to come in and talk so kelvin actually sharing about three point. I was like to listen and asking myself should i talk to my jie.. Ended i did not. So kelvin turn and say carol had protential in dance. I feel happy but he called my name. I am worrie of he telling me bad thing about myself. And also coz this week i heard alot of bad omment about my work. So doesn't hope to bad thing of me in dance... But kelvin juz encourage me by saying i had to be more confident. I feel great. And when pastor share about to be dance in god everyday in any where. So i feel like mmm. i should not stop and i sense that god's saying to me. my dear child you should continue to be faith to me and i am here in control of everything in your life. I given everything in a purpose to prosper you and not to hurt you. when you live in me i will live in you... So i will bless you greater each day when you dance before me... And finally i got the message that god is going to bless me in tis sch wit a purpose and also in dance ministry. I tink i should press on then giving up so easily. And trust that god is here in control of my life... I give thank to the day i had. got the wonderful message from pastor. I feel so great now then sad.. I give glory to god. And when we dance that song "dance in the lord". I feel my heart wa not right and i would not enjoy praising him... it makes me to stand still before god and allow me to dance with no fear and with lot of feeling... I feel god is good. I wanna say I LOVE YOU LORD IN ALL MY LIFE<>>

2006-09-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

eeeeeeeeeee......... Why life is so unfair.. Y people who is good ended in somehow bad.Hopefully everything will go fine. Hope to hear good news. As i hope we would able to touch the judges. I wanna tell him we are always here supporting you.

As for today i went to church. I was not early in church today. I went to the star room hope that everyone reach already. Ended i only see bags. That is linda's bag and 1 more of the friends bag.. So i leave my bag there and i came out and worship god myself. I saw 1 of the dances is infront so i went to join her. After worship i decided not to seat down but just went in to makeup and change. I thot is only the other gals is inside. Ended i open the door i saw my pretty jie jie Linda is inside already. So she told us that some of the step she had change it. We would like huh........... I told the other teamates we would here to worship god. After practise pastor went in and gives us a words. I am so happy. After awhile we get really. Then we went out to the stage and did a practise. I was keep looking for my cell leader. I did not see her. So i feel more stress. Then Carol came to tell me dun worry. I was like i am sure i can't remember the step. Later when i saw My CG leader my confident came back. I hope to do my best. I make it at last. hehe... After changing i went to look for my cg leader. I ask her where is she going. She is not sure. So i ask her whether she want the go with me. She say dun wan... Heee.. I tink she is shy...

We went for Dim sum buffet. We had a good time together. And we order alot of mind and Linda favourite. I always enjoy the time with them. I am the younger so i am well taking care off... Hehehe... haha... I told my jie jie... i dun have to pay for my dim sum. She ask me how come. I say my CG leader given me 50 buck... She say why are you always got lot of thing that people helping u. I am like huh... I then later she say you are so bless.. Your cg leader help u pay for your braces , internet bill and your aunt god u a laptop and desktop. And now she is paying your dim sum buffet.. Hehehe... Cass said to linda you go and ask wendy lah...We will like haha... I am bless... I love my dance family... Love all of you...

2006-09-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

hello.. Let me show you some cool picture that i take in class...

See everyone is enjoying the dim sum buffet..

Teresa and me

2006-09-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

Hey! It be about two month in school. At the start i get a long well with my classmates. And now i feel sometime there are hiding some stuff behind me. In time i really wondering whether am i too senscity or wat. I try not to care so much as i know is not within my control. Cause i know is only just friend. I am there to study. Why do i feel so trouble. In time i really wanna give up. I never know how am i going to study. I feel i could not catch up in work. I dunno whether to ask my friend or not. Until now 1 term is going to the end. I am not sure too. Am i like so lousy. I fell in the mess. Aiya... I dunno what is good for me.

And now i had not getting news from my aunt how is my uncle in taiwen who had done a trasplantation. Hope he is doing fine there. And hope to see him soon. For my the other two uncle who is paralyise and who had mental illness will take his medcine regularly. And their illness will be in control. So that will not make my grandaunt feel upset. As she had a weak heart. Even Know her heart is a little small electronic. I hope that she will take good care of herself. Stop worrying about her children. I know that is not easy to let her put down. So many of his son got so much problem. As she recently had a heart attack before so 1 of the batt is gone. And i heard from my aunt she is very weak. i gets more worries. She only left with 1 batt. I hope she will mange well. And taking care of herself. She is the person where i am most worries... I hope God would take good care of her. And for my the other uncle and auntie who has nose and breast cancer. Will heal in the name of Jesus. Although my aunt is almost finish her treatment. she is oging back to her work soon. As i hope everything will be in control. For my uncle not yet. I hope god will take care of them. I hope to hear good news from this auntie and uncle. As for the family of uncle i hope my aunt could mange well with the family. Is not easy to take care of a person who is sick and working in the same time. As the last time i meet her she had gone slim and her appearance look weak. I hope she will also take care of herself. As for the other aunt who has dyebities... She will take her medcine regulary to control and take lesson sweet and coconut stuff.

I really doesn't know what can i do for them. I tink i could only be here to give them spiritual support them and also praying for them. Although in time i really hope to be with them and giving them support. I tink becoz of study i can't be with them. I know god is with all the time helping me to take care of them I hope god will see this and bless my family who is sick. He will take good care of them. I hand all of then in the name of my father hands. I want pray over for my other family and relatives who is well. God had watch over them and blessing them with good health. will continue to be with them. I commit each and every single of them in the name of jesus. My wish is that people who is sick will get well soon and who is well will continue to be well. The rest i can reall borther.. That is only thing i need. Is a request to god that i know he is here. I will be much happy. Thank god for giving me this family and relative. I just want to let them know i am here and I LOVES EVERYONE OF THEM... I LOVES YOU FAMILY AND RELATIVES.... In jesus name i pray. AMEN!!!!

2006-09-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

heeeheee.. did not have much to update. I am very happy that i could join today practise. I had a wonderful ganjiejie... who always had encourage me alot. I feel i am always taking care by my team friends. They are very nices friend. I am sure i got a good time with them. And this sunday we are going to dance for chinese services. Although we could not dance in the english want. I am sure we can also can be god worshipper. come to the front and worship him... Heehee... And is like the team of the song change last min so we hope that we could do it. Linda our team leader who is great and had come out a new carigrahy of the dance step. Is very nice... # cheerz for team C... I am proud of everyone here...

I am also very happy to hear that my favourite teacher who is back singapore.. I can't wait to meet him out... Oh... Men... I shall tell eveyone about it... Heee. I Am sure every1 will be excited. okie.. got to go back to work...

2006-09-06T03:38:00.000-07:00

Today i was suppose to go for 2D class. Cause i am sick then i took a day mc. is so sian. And i suppose to do work. Ended eaten medcine io feel so tired. I went to sleep. I wakes up about 5 i am lazy to do work already. trying to do the 2d work.. Everyday life is not only study but doing work. So sian. I am going crazy. I even thought giving up from study. And cause i know behind me there is alot of my friend supporting me. I got my church family and my aunt.. I doesn't want to upset them so i should work extra harder... I had gone through the time i thot i could not make it. I am sure now i can. I had to face everything well. I am going to workworkwork... all the way to the end.

2006-09-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

ermmm.... HAHA... I hope i could had time to update regularly. Coz of spending time in doing work and sometime i really feel lazy coz i come back frm church late... Yea.. As i am in sch more than a month i can't adapt into the place there. Maybe is also coz in ITE we are always so close to our lecturer. We don't treat them juz lecturer and we always treats everyone as friend. We are like a family. As my ITE friend is always so close to me. In here there is some stuff that people tell me. Is that i this is no longer ITE or secondary. I have to really depend on myself. I can't rely on my friend. Is like in there when did u rely on my friend i am also not sure. I am like... huh.. I ask some of my frenz did i really always rely on u. She say no. Is the most of time i rely on you u lor. For me is okie. People rely on me. So she even tell me that you are not a wonder women where always people alway rely on you. Sometime you also have to rely on other ma. As i always thot you go out there is relying on your friend and when you are at home you always rely on ur family. As i am close to some of them. Today was wonderful day, I actually able to do my 3D. I am glad abt it. I am going to ask stellah... hehee...

2006-08-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

errrrrrrrrr....... Is time for me to update another blog. I feel so hurt. Is since like i get so tired with friends around me. I don't understand what i had did wrong. I just hates to be in this people aroun d. Some people think i am very irratating. I just felt is there are the one.Maybe is time for me to get going of my study then joinning them so much. And thing may go better.It since like they doesn't like me why still join them. I feel so upset with the class. In the first place last week external class. I am so upset with the people in my class. Is like was not my fault to coz them late for class. Actually there put on the blame on me. why did they do that to me. Is so really unfair to me. I tink there are so childish. I do feel that some of them doesn't know how to be more lady like. I really hope that maybe something that can share there share but some unseem stuff should not be share then keep to themselves. I am having enough of everything. What can i do? Ya.. What am i suppose to be here for. I am sure wat my pastor had thought a lesson on we r here is hard to make people please and I am here to please GOD. I should not have make my life miserable. I tink is the best of all. I felth church friend are the one who is always your friend. And in sch doesn't need to have alot of friend. I tink that Faye and Ally is really a friend to me. I am so glad to have both of them. there are the one who i treasure more. Is good enough i tink. Heehee... Maybe tmr i shld stay in class then going out with them. I also tink that when they go out and eat there won't consider people around you whether have that money to eat outside expensive food. Is like there think about themselves. Not everyone like than very ruch lor. Aiya... Dun wan talk about them anymore. I hope i could see my nice sister Linda as soon as possible. I miss my dance friends. hehe... I also miss my deareast Ganmummy who always share my sorrow and happiness with me. I really wan to see her soon... She will onli be back in singapore on the 31st Aug.. I hope could able to go airport and pick them hehe... Unless i have no class that day.

2006-08-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

hello.. Since like sometime i never update my blog... Today i want to update how i spend my time.. Haha..Today was a sunday. I went to church in the morning. I planned to be in church by 8.30am. Ended i am late. I was there about 9.05am.. haha... Cause saturday i slept at 2.30am in the morning. I was doing my work. Then i went to church i seated with my friends. I feel sian.. but i try to tell myself to be awake. Cause today sunday is so different. Is our church 20th Aninversary. i tink the team that had put up the dance was good. 3 cheerz for the team. Keep up the good work. I enjoy myself in the service. After service my cell leader decide to go home and rest cause she is unfeeling well. I decide to stay for 2nd service for worship. To support the team that they have to dance. And also wanna see the group putting up the hat dance. It was so nice. i hope i could able to take the video of it. After the 2nd service worship i was taking a slow walk to the MRT station. Hoping some1 will call me and we could go out. When i going to enter the MRT before i scan my EZ link card. There is a message. So i read the message it was my dearest sister Linda. She ask me whether did i bring scrabble. I thot she want to lent from me. I give her a call back asking her you looking for me? I was wondering how come she noe i did stay for second service. she say she saw me.So she told me that her friend postponed the meeting time to 5. I say to bad i did not bring. So she ask me where am i going. I say going to look for place to eat but have nt thought of going where. I asked her where are you going while waiting for your friend. She answered she is going to the town area. I was like can i join you. She say sure. So i waited for her. So we decided before her friend come we should go for a walk. Then i remember i need to get a plain top for my printmaking class. Then she say she wanna get a white top. So we went together and shop for it. Finally i got what i want but she did not. Then cause of me she got another top that same with me. That is green in colour. After shop for the thing that i need she say maybe we like to read we can go library or Kinokuniya... We went to the library. I was doing research she was reading magazine. Ended she fallen asleep. hahaha... I trying to br tricky by wanna taking a picture of her while sleeping. In time i wanna the press she wakes up. Then she ask me to delete it then i told her i did not take it yet... Not to make her angry i decided not to do it. So later while she wakes up we decided to leave the place. She ask me whether did she has a sleepy face i say a bit. Feel like giving her a hug. Hee... She is so nice. I thank god for her. I hope that every week i could spend time with her. She is lika a dearest sister of mind. I am so happy while i spend time with her. Hee. I hope next week we could do the same too. Then we can also play scrabble. hehe.. God loves her so do I. She is a sister to me. God has blessing me so much with a sister like her.

2006-08-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

HeiZ, In school so sian. I feel thing is different. All my work drive me crazy. Is like always got so many homework. Will i be able to finish it on time men. I think it has drive me crazy. I feel so tired. Today is only Tuesday. I went to this International church prayer meeting. I am so happy to be there. Although i feel so sian. I feel i don't know why i get so Jealous so easily. Nowaday i feel so different. Maybe everything has start from me. I don't know whether am i right. I always thinking of joining the dance friends. They since to make me feel excited for God. I know that is good for me. I hope that i could be excited for my cell group too.Although i grow up from this group. I hope 1 day we in my CG will get excited meeting each other. Hopefully my CG leader will understand how i feel. I am working hard to build this group bigger. Is also that we will grow into a better group. Who can tell me why do i feel that way.

2006-08-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

Ello. Today was a very sickening day i have. I can't go anywhere much. juz staying at home the whole day doing homework and online. Until now i have nt finish all my work. I am like taking my own sweet time. Coz i have no ideas for 3D. And i tink everyone in my class anti 3D. I am like going crazy with it lor.. I am so bore at home. I am going crazy... Hehe.. I am so excited is sunday. Where is the time I woild worship our heavenly Father. Hehe.. I hope that i can dun need to do my work. Sick and tired. I did nt have a good day today.

2006-08-04T00:58:00.000-07:00

Today is going toward 5 Aug. I don't have class today. So i decided not to go out. And stay home doing my homework. And so through out this morning until now i had be trying to do 3D project. I keep cutting wrongly. And spoiling the box. So i keep redo until really give up. Can i dun do. I tink i never like 3d class. Until now i did not dismental one nice want. Who can help me. Can i do this and fail this moduel. My frenz told me that if we fail this i had to stay for another semster. I dun want. How. Who can help me.

2006-08-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

hi........ Today i went for dance. I am so happy to be there. I did not heard a very good new but i am just praying that God will not allow our group member not to change. I really serious think that we all had really bond with our team mates. The relationship is build up. I am sure. Although we doesn't know each other very long but we build our fellowship.I hope that Kelvin will understand us. In this point. I want to be in linda team. God i pray that u will allow kelvin final discussion is that allow us to carry on in our own team. As i am sure we all of ud like our own team so much. I enjoy so much with my team pepole. GOd i pray all this in your name. Amen..

2006-08-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

Yo, Finally i come home. I can go online. Although i got a lot of work to do. I am sure god is here to give me my creativity. Amen.. Although is since the second week of school. I get along well in class. I am trying to cop with my school work. Although sometime i feel a bit lazy but i am sure i will get rid of my lazy. Today ia actually had cell meeting. I got very excited. Ended up i did not feel good. As i know everyone are very tired cause have been waking early but sleep late. Today 1 actually complaint that can have cell faster to end and the other keep saying very tired. I try to be patient and doesn't want to say anything. Ended i could not take it. Coz since the start i did not see the attitude of my cell change. I finally tell her off that i know you r tired and everyone do. Can u stop complaint. She is like always sleepy and everything. I am just wondering why can't my CG give full focus to God and listening to his word. I really don't know what to do. My group doesn't excited for god. Can i be somewhere else. I am als having struggle can i be in somewhere that people would motitivate me to praising the lord. And i don't knnow whether what i did is right but i am just telling off. People r not happy about what i tell them. I even feel hurt to listen to ppl say ya lah ya lah... I don't feel i am motitvate by people. I am so sad. Although i know that Linda told me to give time but how long shld i give. Is it forever. Or should i be selfish and think about myself that i could grow better in somewhere else or shld i ask my CG leader to seperate me with them? Mean i will have seperate CG with them. Hai.............. God please tell me what is right me to do.... SadZ

2006-07-30T06:35:00.000-07:00

Yoyo... Today is such a day fill with full of joy. Today team C is the team perform and praising the lord. Although i feel a bit worry . We did better than the pervious want. My heart feel with joy to perform. We are the group of people who have train hard together. After practising for 1 month. We did a group job. I think we are the most activity group. Pastor Joel seldom praising people who did well. If he say is good mean we are really good. Today i did not injurice myself. I praise god fpr that. I feel so happening. I feel cool that i could able to complete two services. Although my team was a bit tent up but i am sure we can do better than that. After second service of worship we went back to the Star room 1 and change. After changing i thot i will onli alone eating lunch so i feel sian. Later awhile Cecelia ask me to join her for lunch. I call my CG leader there went to bugis for lunch. Ended up i know Linda is also having lunch. So i decide to eat lunch with them. And we have a good time chit chatting with Linda. We also help her a bit thinking whether how she should tell her boss about some stuff. And noot long Teresa came and join us. So we even feel excited to chat more. After sometime Cecelia them decided to go Karaoke and i am suppose to go Art friend to get stuff. Doesn't want my dearest sister seating alone lonely so i also had time i decide to seat with and chat. Whike chatting also waiting for her CG leader to come out. We had a god time togther. Oh.. 2nd service finally over. They decide to go Marcca Express to have lunch. Her CG leader say we could join them. So we have another good time chatting with her CG leader Wendy, Nancy, Linda.. After the cell over. Wendy had to go back and rest. Nancy meeting her friends. So linda decide to wait for her brother. Wendy ask me whether want to company Linda i say ok.. We seatting and chat whether am i getting job. Jie was very concerning about me. I say i want. So i even share a bit abt my work place that i dosn't like to work with my client. AI think most of the time I am talking. I love to chat wit linda. I am so happy to be with her. She is such a sweet sister of mind. I thank God for creating such wonderful sister in my life. Thank you God.

2006-07-27T00:36:00.000-07:00

Ya.... I feel so greatful to our God. As the incrediable of the hillsong. Pastor paul actually show us a video abt David wong had using the galaxy, star planet to share with us. How small are we on earth. And also had told us the important that we are living for him but not ourself alone. As i feel it had really wake up my mind that in dance minstery and also every sunday we went to worship the lord is not our duty to do it but its what i am doing for our great God giving him the great glory. I have been losing my way why do i follow god for. Pass few sunday i go church with a empty heart. I feel so hurt and like crying but i was not able to explore with tears. My mind could not able come myself down to worship him by thinking of other thing. I did not dare to come back to face our great god. I had a tuff time. but what yesterday Pastor Paul share how did he gone through every sunday is to finish service as soon as possible and would able to relax. I feel a bit the same way too. I am just confussing myself. We should come with a still heart to honor him and also worship with whole hearted. I doesn't sure myself and also did not know what is going on in my life. Yesterday he actually mension about how great is our god and he make us come before him and bow down on our knee. He want us to confess everything that we are sinning against him . Telling him to come into us and fill our heart with LOVE and JOY. Even giving us the time to send with him saying I LOVE HIM. Telling him how great is he. I even think i am no longer big. We even shout for victory that praising him. Even HALLU JAH... God is so awesome. He giving me with a great bright light again. I felt with so much Joy and sunday i would able go church freely performing andpasing him but not other one else. I am going with a greatful heart but not and empty heart. I feel the joy to worship him. I even feel excited to meet him in worship. I am not ging to worry whether did i able to dance but to worship him greatly... I thank God for all this experince in life. I love you lord......

2006-07-27T00:33:00.000-07:00

Part 1

MAN IS EVERYTHING AND NOTHING Psalm 8

When I consider your heavens...,what is man that you are mindful of him...? (vv.3,4)A STORY IS TOLD OF A MAN WHO DIED and found himself in a strange place. He enquired where he was, but was asked instead where he came from. When he said Earth, no one had ever heard of it. He was referred to a public library where he might locate Earth and perhaps find his bearings. For hours, he searched through the volumes of reference works. He finally found Earth: it was listed as one of the millions of planets in the galaxies.Such a story cannot but raise the question, "What is man?" The samequestion confronted the shepherd boy David as he lay on his back pondering beneath the starry night sky. However, the way the question is asked makes a world of difference. "What is man?" may be an expression of scorn, or it may be an exclamation of wonder.The estimate of man often leans towards one of two opposite errors. Some over-estimate man, and extol him above God. If so, we do well to remember how small man is. If we would spend more time looking upwards into the vast expanse of the heavens, we would be less arrogant about ourselves.The other mistake is to under-estimate man, and to consider him no more than dirt, a chance collection of atoms. Then we need to remind ourselves of how God sees man. To David, the minute size of man relative to the universe calls for, not scorn, but wonder. That the infinitely greater Creator should think of and care for the infinitesimally lesser creature calls for joyful amazement.Man may be insignificant when judged by size, but when God places value on him by giving him attention and dominion, size becomes irrelevant. Thus when the psalmist asks "What is man?", it is nothing short of a gasp of wonder, an outburst of praise to God.MAN IS EVERYTHING WITH GOD, AND NOTHING WITHOUT HIM. David Wong Let me add one more line.. 'For God so love the world that He gave His one and only son. That whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life' - John 3:16

2006-07-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

Today was my second day in school. I feel so excited. And when we will be introduce to our course. Today i thought i was late then i took a cab to school. Then arrive my school i did not even check whether did i have all my stuff i just left the cab. I tink if i am wrong i drop my phone in the cab. That goes my phone. I was very upset. Then when i found my phone was late that was two hour later. I am so sad. I try to call my phone but it was off. When i know its off my phone that it. Now i without a phone. Why am i so careless. I amso sad, and i know when i reach home if i tell my mum she will sure scold. I got scolded from my mum and dad. Coz of that my mum and dad had a quarrel. After that i decided to get the bag that i went to harbourfront and its like out of stock. Today was a bad day. Everything doesn't go my way. so sick..

2006-07-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today is a Saturday. I was not having a very good day today. I think today is a bad day. I actually wake up late this morning. I wake up about 12 noon. I feel so tired. When I wakes up my mum had just finish from work and have just arrived home. She went to bath. After bath she rest for awhile. She asks me whether I want to have lunch with her. I think for awhile. Since I start work until now I don’t have time to company her for breakfast or lunch. Whether I come back she is already asleep. And I was also very busy for church stuff. So we went to eat. After eating I went home to keep clothes. I bath and prepare to go library to look for some books on handmade cards. I borrowed four books. About that. I had browsers through. I stay in library until 3.45pm. I also make a replacement of my card. After that I gave Aunt Mew Leng a call. Asking whether she would be able to come and pick me at bukit merah library. So she talks to uncle kok wah for awhile. They decided to come and pick me in twenty minutes time. So ask me wait outside Watson. I waited. And she came and picks me to sunshine plaza and collects the banner and my paid. I was angry with Uncle Robert that he never responsible with the thing he promise me to help me do. He told me that the die cutter is spoil. And my file has lost. I am sure it was a lie. So I get angry ad when to talk to auntie. So he asks me to give him the file again and he will help me print. I gave him the file. He say wait for half and hours. So aunt mew leng and uncle kok wah agree to wait. We went for lunch and came back it wills still printing. And I help to laminate it. After that we cut the part where doesn’t want. He says is wasting the lamination so wanted to add another 8 dollar. I did not feel right. I just thinking that if in the first place he has say 14 dollar was for the size. It must add the lamination already. And is we are the want who waste it why do we have to add another 8 dollar. I mean if that amount is for that then why we have. After added that we have to pay 22 dollar. I did not mention anything much I say we will only going to pay 20 dollar. He agrees with it. I mean in the place he has wasted my time. After collect it. Uncle Kok wah given me a lift to bugis village where I wanted to go. I want to go there and get a pair of long pants and also a bag. After get what I want is about 6 plus so I decided to go to take Mrt to Novena wants to go LST party. It was the last party. I thought Faith will be coming but ended me alone was keep looking and waiting for citivision friends. No one from citivision came. Until going to the end Pat came. I was like lucky still got her. If not I am going to go bore. Cause I also don’t know what to do. After the party I went home. So I give Aunt Kelyn a SMS and ask them wait for me. I want to take show. Ended recorded title La Femme Desperado and taken The bites bitter. So know I got no show to watch. Sian….

2006-07-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

During the week I had looking forward to 2 things that is today and also tomorrow. I can dance appoint the lord again. I am also excited about tomorrow too. It will be my last day working in the Isuccess Solution. I want give glory to god that he had put me in a wonderful company working with my boss with no much stress and also allow me to learn them. A bit doesn’t want to leave the company. Although today I did not have a good time with Hhsan. I hope it would not affect my friendship with her. Maybe since the start when also working with Roger she did not like me so much. I learnt that I can’t sanctify everyone but only God himself. When working after way I keep looking at the time where passes is so slowly. I am looking forward to pass time faster is also hopping to go to dance. Also to meet the rest of the dancer in TC chapel. I am excited to see them also practice together. Haha… I am so excited. I blessed my friend with two bar of chocolate. I even given Linda a card to bless her and thank her so much. Being a nice leader and also been so patience with me. Although I learn thing very slow. I even pray that in days ahead I will be able to get to know her better. She felt so happy to receive that card I make for her. I am also happy to given her that wonderful card I had make. She had given me a huggie hug. After practice Cassandra announce that who ever want to leave can leave, who ever wanted to stay can stay and who ever want to eat can go and eat. When she says who ever want to eat can eat that is pointing us. Who always go and eat after dance. That is Carol, Cecelia, Linda, Cassandra, siew lian and me. Haha.. We are the one who eats together all the time. I felt that it make us more closes each time to be together. Praise the Lord

2006-07-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

It was a Sunday I felt so relax. Carol, Carol boyfriends, Cecelia, Theresa, Linda and me when to East Coast. We meet Poh Yan and her boyfriend there. We actually wanted to go east coast cycle and be in the beach. We would not able too. Because it was rainy day. It rain non stop. Ended we seated inside Mac Donald chit chatting and also went to Bowling centre and bowl. Some of us playing pool, some of us were bowling and some of us were playing Scrabble. I felt that I start to get closes to the group. At first I feel so funny to be with the mix group. Especially with Linda I feel I enjoy being with her. I had spent a great day with them. We decided to have more activities together. I think church friend are no longer boring. I also feel that I and part of the group. In the beginning I was the younger maybe I have not much thing to talk to them. I feel funny there. Now I feel better. Being the younger I am better taking care of. I am so excited each day that I am growing in this group. Linda is such a nice sister I know. I actually felt cool and want to thank her so much.

2006-07-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

This morning I wake up very early. I went to Laselle SIA to hand in my CPF stuff. And had double confirmed that I will be able to study in that school. So Miss Farah told me yes. Asked me to wait for the orientation Letter to come to school for that day. After everything I decided to go down to Jurong. My aunt them haven’t went back to Malaysia. So I given my godpa a call. He says that they are going to eat breakfast I told him to go ahead. Because I am still Mountbatten Rd. So I would take sometime to reach they. I took a bus to Kallang MRT and took MRT to Boon Lay. It took me about 45 minutes to reach them. So I reach they early I decided to have my breakfast at Jurong Point then go over. I went to Mac Donald and have my breakfast. I took Big Breakfast. After that I have a slow walk back to my godfather house. When I reached there, they haven’t even reached. So I seated at the door outside waited patiently. I read a book for a while I decided to take out my laptop and watch the cartoon I have. While waiting I was watching. Not long they reach. We had a good time chit chatting and also had lunch together. I went with Aunt Jean and Uncle Jimmy. To get lunch for everyone. After lunch we have a chit chat until 2.30pm. We all send them off at jurong. I and Aunt Susie took a MRT back home. At first uncle Jimmy wanted to give us a lift. But aunt told them don’t need. That how I spend the day with them. When I reach Telok Blangah I went to VCD shop. I seated until 6pm and took a bus to harbourfront and meet my cell leader. We spend time eating dinner and had a chit chat.

2006-07-02T06:36:00.000-07:00

It was Sunday. I went to church. I had a time of worship god. After church I have lunch with my friends. We have a chit chat until 12pm. We decided to leave church. We all took an Mrt together. I took to Boon Lay and meet my relative the rest alight at city hall. I went to my aunt house and I know my mum was still sleeping. Hee.. So I had a chat with the rest of them. My mama look very roses and happy to see me there. Seeing her smile is so sweet. We have a chat. In the night we went to Boon Lay Rajar Restaurant and had a great dinner. I think is only when there are here then we got to eat good food. After dinner we went back to Auntie Jean house. Me, my godma, ah mui and Ah hao kor kor took us to street 52 and order chui kaui and bought some stuff. Aunt Jean went to my godma house and my mum and the rest went to Aunt Jean house. After a while we reach they will just saying. The adult had Karaoke and I was online. I heard my mama singing was very good. She is getting better. She could sing more than 4 songs. I can see that she enjoy singing a lot. We all enjoy you listening to her. That was a very great day

2006-07-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

We have nothing much. In the morning I went over and chit chats with them. And had a great talk and had a wonderful dinner at city. After dinner my godfather gives us a lift home and the rest went to jurong point and shopping. I came back I was very tired so I slept.

2006-06-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

I actually went to Kerena entertainment and work. I start at 10am till 6pm. Is fun… Although not much people there. I still have time to design some stuff. Is good. After work I went to meet auntie Mew Leng and I went to her church in aliwa with them. Before we go we actually have dinner in blk 65. And we have cell meeting in aliwa. So fun… I am so happy. After cell Auntie Mew Leng family send pat’s and me home. I have a fun time. I am more relax because I had print out the cpf stuff that I need I really hope that Monday I went to hand in there would not be a error.

2006-06-29T06:15:00.000-07:00

I went to get my singpass done. So I cam back to get my dance gear. I went to work after that. I finish working at 5. I directly went down to Parkway. I went there to serve online. Updates my blog and everything that I need to do. Enjoying serving net. Also try to wait for time to reach. At 7.30pm I went in to chapel. I saw a lot of people is there already. Carol ask me how come I am later then her nowadays. I say oh... I….. Then I did not answer and smiles. So everyone came to me and ask me how am i? I say well. Recovering well. That is good. Everyone was happy for me. I am also happy. Everyone start to do stretch but Cassandra came to me and asks me seat and the sofa and rest. I feel everyone is so nieces. I am so happy. After that I just do thing that is to my limited. And is wonderful to. I like yesterday practice. Thank god for everything.

2006-06-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

Today I went to work and took off my job about 5 plus and wanted to meet Portia and the rest in Habourfront. I actually reach earlier. I want to meet Portia earlier is to ask her help me on my cpf. We could do anything until my sister called and say I have to go down and get my own Singpass. I was like huh.. So late lei… I am so sad.. Not long my mum actually called up and told me she had gotten her singpass and given to my sister. I told her wait for sister I only can do it in the night I scare that the cpf thing can do it again. My mum scream on the phone and actually had scolded me, I was so sad and cried. Portia did not know what happen and she saw me walk away. When I came back she asks me what happen and I found that she actually had read what I wrote in my book. Where wrote some stuff to god. How I feel. When I pen my diary in the computer she actually see thing that I don’t want to show her. I did not know what to say. She asks me why I cry. I say my mum scolded me. And is not I don’t care about my study. Is the letter was not clear. She doesn’t get it. I am like going crazy. And Portia Actually asks me am I upset when she scolded me. I say YES. She asks me who I think that my dance friend or she more understand me. In the way she also know I cry is not because I can’t bear the pain but is because I am upset of something. She says she knows that. I feel a bit sorry to write that but is what I feel. Is because I don’t know who I should talk to that why I write out what I feel. I hope I did not upset her by writing that. Maybe I should explain to her. Although I know her longer then the other friends in church but because I just feel that way. Maybe I should also say sorry.

2006-06-27T04:21:00.000-07:00

A day of doing nothing

I spend my day go down to Bukit Merah Electronic shop to change my dvd player. I given auntie Jean a call. I told her that i entered Lasella SIA. She ask me to remember download what ever thing that i need to get into the school and fill it up. So i decided when i come back hme and i should call the school and ask. What do i need to hand it in and whai don't have too. So actually thy told me that i need to hand it in before 4 july and i will get the confirmation is reserve fo me. So i was so worry. I called Portia and alsoasked my sister whether today will i be able go to her home and do everything. So i could bring it down as soon as possible. My sister say she will called me when she reach home then i will go over. Until now is even 9pm i still did not get her call. Hope she won't forget. Me today hae beenut for ahile and also seat on computer doing some design on my own cards. I design two. One is for Auntie Mew Leng birthday card and the other is fo the fun of designing. I am not finsh with Mew Leng card cause i did not know whether to put Happy Birthday or A verse from the bible. Oh, no i just remember that i did not call my office and say i could not go back today. Hei.... How am i suppose to tell them tomorrow. I feel so bad. I should do it since this morning i wakes up. I als feel like checking email but my ouse don't have internet line. I have to save up and pay if i want to have internet. Where can i get that money. I got to pay for handphone bill too. Maybe in the starts was wrong to get my own handphone line. Maybe really put in trust in the lord that he will give way to it. And the other thing is i old auntie susie a big some of money for the computer. I am like with lots of debts. Hei... God i pray that you will find ways out for me. I know only you csn help me. I know god is good all the time. I pray all this in Jesus Name. Amen! Thank you...

I don't understand him any more. He always do thing to hurt me. I am just wonder whether do i still trust in him. I am like giving out hope in him already. He always makes me happy in some ways and discourage me another ways. I HATES HIM........ Example sunday he alot me to do well on first service and after performance he let me fall down and i not able to perform in the next services. I could only see other to perform. And the next want is he allow me to get into Laselle SIA and now doesn't allow me to apply my CPF. Now i even find if i send in late i may not get a place. Portia reach as the same what i thought. Now i only could apply tomorrow. And had to wait the next day to get the reply from the CPF. Is like wasting time lor... Can you juz tell me whether can i get in. Can stop making me worry. I doesn't want to be like same in NAFA. Wait till so long then give me answer was NO. I hates that lor. Who can tell me that can i get in? I do felt Portia only cares for other people. No longer cares for me anymore. Why? On sunday she even say i behave like a kids. She just doesn't know what am i thinking. How can she start judging me what am i thinking. I am like going crazy with people around me. I don't want to stay in this place anymore.

2006-06-26T04:18:00.000-07:00

I actually had injuried my leg on Sunday then today i could not be able to go work. So i actually i had spend my day at home resting. So today i actually sleep like a pig . I feel so bore at home. My DVD player spoil so i could not watch. My mum was saying tomorrow maybe i better stay at home. I will like huh. So bore at home. Today i did not do anything much. I really pray hard that my leg will heal fast then I could go back to work and also join my friends them practise dance on thursday. I did not want to skip one lesson. I am so excited to every thursday prastice. Me have be playing Sim 2 the whole day. I hope i got internet so i also could chakt with my cousin. Or even serve net to get some information where i could design more cards. Maybe tomorrow i go to bukit Merah or library. I think i should go to check out internet line. How much does it cost? Or ask my frenz to check for me. The other thing i am going to study n Lasella SIA but i did not know what to prepare and or do. I am like in mess. Maybe have to long break. I also worry that when school start will also very tiring. I hope i could gone through well. Hope i would not have a hard time studying. Today was basicially boring day at home. Maybe tomorrow i can call any one and see who is free can come and company me. Wa now is even 1.34am. Is actually 27 June. I better go and rest getting late.

2006-06-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ya... Today i stay over auntie mew leng house. hee.. That is fun to stay with her family. Today i woke up super late. Had spend a great time with Cynthia shopping for my Dance gear. And also pretty shoes. Is like my first time going out to shop. I am so happy. We are like shopping queen.

2006-06-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

testing!